HAIKU REVIEWS
8-25-08 My Church FFL Draft
Sep-24,2008
(for those of you who
don't know - FFL stands for Fantasy Football League)
I got the 12th pick
Started with Moss and Owens
So much for R.B.s
(Now, in hindsight)
Poor, poor Randy Moss
You were the top ranked W.R.
Now I would trade you straight up for Kurt stinking Warner
I got the 12th pick
Started with Moss and Owens
So much for R.B.s
(Now, in hindsight)
Poor, poor Randy Moss
You were the top ranked W.R.
Now I would trade you straight up for Kurt stinking Warner
|
8-24-08 Maryville, TN
Sep-24,2008
8-9-08 Ft. Worth, TX
Sep-24,2008
8-1-08 Sugar Land, TX
Aug-10,2008
7-31-08 Houston, TX
Aug-10,2008
7-30-08 Tomball, TX
Aug-10,2008
7-26-08 Bowling Green, KY
Aug-10,2008
6-30-08 Southeastern Youth Camp, AL
Jul-01,2008
6-26-08 Dandridge, TN
Jul-01,2008
6-22-08 Charlotte, NC
Jun-29,2008
5-31-08 Lincoln, NE
Jun-26,2008
5-29-08 Thomasville, GA
Jun-26,2008
5-28-08 Thomasville, GA (FBC)
Jun-26,2008
5-11-08 LEAF Festival - Asheville, NC
Jun-26,2008
5-4-08 Oxford, GA
May-16,2008
5-3-08 Canton, GA
May-16,2008
4-19-08 Olympia, WA
Apr-19,2008
4-11-08 Nashville, TN - Lipscomb U.
Apr-12,2008
4-9-08 Winchester, TN
Apr-10,2008
4-5-08 Knoxville, TN
Apr-06,2008
4-2-08 Jonesboro, AR
Apr-03,2008
3-21-08 Jacksonville, FL
Mar-21,2008
3-17-08 Waco, TX - Baylor University
Mar-17,2008
3-16-08 Waco, TX
Mar-16,2008
3-15-08 Cedar Rapids, IA
Mar-15,2008
2-29-08 Bowling Green, KY
Feb-29,2008
2-24-08 College Station, TX
Feb-24,2008
2-22-08 Cedar Park, TX
Feb-22,2008
2-21-08 Nashville, TN
Feb-21,2008
2-17-08 Lafayette, IN
Feb-17,2008
2-10-08 Lincoln, NE
Feb-10,2008
2-2-08 Asheville, NC
Feb-02,2008
1-1-08 Laity Lodge, TX
Jan-01,2008
2007 Haiku Reviews
Dec-27,2007
12-16-07
Jacksonville, FL
Highlight of the tour
We were all witnesses to
A Ben Shive concert
and
Power out mid-song
Jill and Sara start dancing
As Cason performs
12-15-07 Augusta, GA
Cool old theater
Jill starts the stupid game of
Water on the shoes
12-14-07 Tampa, FL
More bus problems
Made Dan the Sound Man work hard
With late arrival
12-13-07 Nashville, TN
One thing is for sure
The great David Wilcox is
Quite animated
12-12-07 Charlotte, NC
Familiar faces
Watching us concentrate on
Games of Speed Scrabble
12-11-07 Birmingham, AL
It is an honor
To be joined by such greatness
As Allen Levi
12-10-07 Huntsville, AL
It was a dark day
Losing my disc golf crown to
Adam Steverson
12-09-07 Milford, OH
Impromptu solo
It was Osenga’s time to
Partake in roast beef
12-08-07 New Milford, CT
I found two treasures
Snooping around the high school
Washer and Dryer
12-07-08 Michigan City, IN
Troy and Sara left
Now we’re on the bus o’ boys
It smells like urine
12-06-07 Terre Haute, IN
Beside the highway
Pulling our luggage out of
The broken down bus
12-05-07 Huntsville, AL
Marraige Proposal
Always a good thing to see
Except when it is from someone in the audience to your wife
12-03-07 Austin, TX
Playing my hometown
Means me reconnecting with
Taco Cabana
12-02-07 Cordova, TN
Temptation was great
To climb up the singing tree
And we all succumbed
12-01-07 Richardson, TX
Inventing new games
Today it was “Throw The Mints”
As hard as you can
and
Knot on my forehead
Apparently Marcus missed
The rule about throwing the mints at people’s faces
11-30-07 Sugarland, TX
Phoenix from ashes
Like out of Oklahoma
And into Texas
11-29-07 Leawood, KS
I am not quite sure
If those BBQ Baked Beans
Could ever be beat
(outside of Texas of course)
and
Dear contact lenses
I don’t know how you did it
But requiring a prescription to buy extra contacts even in an “emergency” is absolutely ridiculous
11-28-07 Wasau, WI
A mighty return
To the place where Applebee’s
Is not quite so bad
11-27-07 Elkhorn, NE
O Sweet Bethany
The soup, the cookies, the love
Its good to be back
11-11-07 Atlanta, GA
From Aaron and Todd
To Scott’s elderly insults
It was a great show
11-10-07 Nashville, TN
A concert at home
Seems my kids got bored after
just 30 minutes
11-9-07 Naperville, IL
Every now and then
Jill says something she regrets
Like, “I hope we aren’t folking you to sleep”
11-8-07 Huntsville, AL
I like washing down
Some disc golf domination
With some folk music
or
Steverson Challenge
Ha! We should have just called it
Steverson Smackdown
11-3-07 Bridgeport, WV
Stunning countryside
I saw it courtesy of
A bad G.P.S.
10-28-07 Ruston, LA
You would be surprised
At how many churches have
An accordion
10-27-07 Richmond, VA
Though we’re not famous
It felt like paparazzi
With all those star lights
10-23-07 Amarillo, TX
Only in Texas
Would folks know my son’s namesake
Cowboy Ty Murray
10-21-07 Thomasville, GA
This church is lucky
To have Chet Atkin’s ghost for
A worship pastor
10-13-07 Olympia, WA
Another house show
My proudest contribution?
The cookie platter
9-23-07 Huntsville, AL
Someone said “You Suck”
In the middle of the show
But I asked for it
9-20-07 Nashville, TN
Remembering Rich
Meant hearing stories about
Petersons kissing
9-08-07 Tremont, IL
The combines were out
And harvest time means one thing:
Disc Golf Tournament
9-07-07 St. Charles, MO
I had two women
Ask me to go out with them
Ben’s Grandma and Aunt
9-02-07 Nashville, TN
Playing Wrecking Ball
Made a lot of sense before
Tearing down the place
8-31-07 Little Rock, AR
Like men at weddings
My electric gear sat there
With nothing to do
8-26-07 Omaha, NE
Proof that my movies
Have eclipsed my songwriting:
Requests for Ringo
8-12-07 Ocala, FL
Here is some advice
If you need stress in your life
Fly into Gainesville
7-27-07 Metarie, LA
Twas love at first sight
This was the night that I met
The Nintendo Wii
6-16-07 Hartland, WI
Tonight’s cheese song proved
Every solo is better
With played on kazoos
6-8-07 Conyers, GA
This was our last trip
As a family of four with
A big-bellied mom
6-2-07 Bonne Terre, MO
First state park concert8-12-07
Complete with my bronchitis
And peed pants stories
6-1-07 St.Louis, MO
Wonderful house show
Well, the house was wonderful
And there was a show
5-25-07 Naperville, IL
Wonderful venue
And great show were topped off by
Ted’s Montana Grill
5-23-07 Chicago, IL
Air Conditioning
Cooled rooms are overrated
I used to think that
5-13-07 Gothenburg, Sweden
We rushed through sound check
Then sprinted about a mile
To go see Hot Fuzz
and
It was mother’s day
I sent my wife a picture
Of the flowers they gave me after the show before I gave them away to the kind lady singing for erik
5-12-07 Huskvarna/Jonkoping, Sweden
After the sound check
I tried the swedish thrift store
But it had just closed
5-11-07 Sundbyberg, Sweden
Jet lag finally comes
Almost drool on my guitar
Sleeping through two songs
5-10-07 Norrkoping, Sweden
Sounds like NOR-SHER-PING
Its still hard to make jokes here
However you say it
5-9-07 Orebro, Sweden
Late morning bike ride
First show with Erik and Ted
I have two sore legs
5-5-07 San Diego, CA
Pad in the city
If it wasn’t for these kids
I would be cool too
5-4-07 LaMesa, CA
So good to be back
But gone was the green room where
I would watch football
4-29-07 Winchester, TN
Must have missed the sign
So we were late for sound check
And the potluck feast
4-28-07 Dalton, GA
I am having more kids
So we can someday compete
With Earl’s bluegrass band
4-24-07 Knoxville, TN
Mullet song requests
I guess they’ll have to wait for
The new new city
4-22-07 Chattanooga, TN
Church bathroom shower
Washing off poison ivy
Before the concert
4-21-07 Lawrenceville, GA
Tonight’s opener
Comedy with Faith Hill song
“I can smell you breathe”
4-20-07 Columbia, SC
All downhill from here
When the opener is a
Banjo champion
4-19-07 Mooresville, NC
You better drive slow
Or in the dark you might miss
This camouflaged church
4-11-07 Jonesboro, AR
“This is horrible”
Heard at Left Behind movies
And tonight, my show
3-21-07 LaMirada, CA - Biola University
Right after the show
We raced two hundred meters
To my victory
3-17-07 Chesapeake, VA
Yet another first
Walk out on stage following
The voice of Jafar
3-11=07 Amarillo, TX
Free advertising
Four Larrivees on the stage
But no endorsements?
3-9-07 Dallas, TX
1:30 a.m.
A young girl plays in ash tray
Taco cabana
(yummy)
(no - I mean it. The food was yummy.)
3-7-07 Baylor University Chapel Waco, TX
Quote of the morning
“Really, Jill, I think of you
In all sorts of ways”
3-6-07 Waco, TX
Mighty house concert
This place brings me pasta bake
And Jill - allergies
3-1-07 Bowling Green, KY
Just like basketball
Mandolin comes to the games
Then just rides the pine
2-26-07 Memphis, TN
Much like my stardom
That feedback you’re hearing?
Imagination
2-22-07 Orlando, FL
Beautiful weather
Much better than years ago
With the alpacas
2-21-07 Leesburg, FL
Good looking cheesecake
Of course, I gave up desserts
This first day of lent
2-18-07 Monument, CO
A house full of folks,
Enchalada casserole
And legend, Don Lash
2-17-07 Colorado Springs, CO
Glen eyrie castle
Ancient architecture and
Seventies decor
2-16-07 Castle Rock, CO
The lengthy concert
Was nothing compared to the
Drive through the snow storm
2-11-07 North Augusta, SC
When no one could see
I would sneak up the stairs for
Volunteer donuts
2-10-06 Augusta, GA
Thong on a clothesline
A first time for everything
And, I hope, the last
1-27-07 Asheville, NC
Men sharing feelings
So whatever happened to
That drum beating stuff?
1-24-07 Laity Lodge, TX
What a big sissy
I found myself tearing up
At poetry night
1-5-07 Colorado Springs, CO
You get some eggs and
Way too much information
From the omelet chef
Highlight of the tour
We were all witnesses to
A Ben Shive concert
and
Power out mid-song
Jill and Sara start dancing
As Cason performs
12-15-07 Augusta, GA
Cool old theater
Jill starts the stupid game of
Water on the shoes
12-14-07 Tampa, FL
More bus problems
Made Dan the Sound Man work hard
With late arrival
12-13-07 Nashville, TN
One thing is for sure
The great David Wilcox is
Quite animated
12-12-07 Charlotte, NC
Familiar faces
Watching us concentrate on
Games of Speed Scrabble
12-11-07 Birmingham, AL
It is an honor
To be joined by such greatness
As Allen Levi
12-10-07 Huntsville, AL
It was a dark day
Losing my disc golf crown to
Adam Steverson
12-09-07 Milford, OH
Impromptu solo
It was Osenga’s time to
Partake in roast beef
12-08-07 New Milford, CT
I found two treasures
Snooping around the high school
Washer and Dryer
12-07-08 Michigan City, IN
Troy and Sara left
Now we’re on the bus o’ boys
It smells like urine
12-06-07 Terre Haute, IN
Beside the highway
Pulling our luggage out of
The broken down bus
12-05-07 Huntsville, AL
Marraige Proposal
Always a good thing to see
Except when it is from someone in the audience to your wife
12-03-07 Austin, TX
Playing my hometown
Means me reconnecting with
Taco Cabana
12-02-07 Cordova, TN
Temptation was great
To climb up the singing tree
And we all succumbed
12-01-07 Richardson, TX
Inventing new games
Today it was “Throw The Mints”
As hard as you can
and
Knot on my forehead
Apparently Marcus missed
The rule about throwing the mints at people’s faces
11-30-07 Sugarland, TX
Phoenix from ashes
Like out of Oklahoma
And into Texas
11-29-07 Leawood, KS
I am not quite sure
If those BBQ Baked Beans
Could ever be beat
(outside of Texas of course)
and
Dear contact lenses
I don’t know how you did it
But requiring a prescription to buy extra contacts even in an “emergency” is absolutely ridiculous
11-28-07 Wasau, WI
A mighty return
To the place where Applebee’s
Is not quite so bad
11-27-07 Elkhorn, NE
O Sweet Bethany
The soup, the cookies, the love
Its good to be back
11-11-07 Atlanta, GA
From Aaron and Todd
To Scott’s elderly insults
It was a great show
11-10-07 Nashville, TN
A concert at home
Seems my kids got bored after
just 30 minutes
11-9-07 Naperville, IL
Every now and then
Jill says something she regrets
Like, “I hope we aren’t folking you to sleep”
11-8-07 Huntsville, AL
I like washing down
Some disc golf domination
With some folk music
or
Steverson Challenge
Ha! We should have just called it
Steverson Smackdown
11-3-07 Bridgeport, WV
Stunning countryside
I saw it courtesy of
A bad G.P.S.
10-28-07 Ruston, LA
You would be surprised
At how many churches have
An accordion
10-27-07 Richmond, VA
Though we’re not famous
It felt like paparazzi
With all those star lights
10-23-07 Amarillo, TX
Only in Texas
Would folks know my son’s namesake
Cowboy Ty Murray
10-21-07 Thomasville, GA
This church is lucky
To have Chet Atkin’s ghost for
A worship pastor
10-13-07 Olympia, WA
Another house show
My proudest contribution?
The cookie platter
9-23-07 Huntsville, AL
Someone said “You Suck”
In the middle of the show
But I asked for it
9-20-07 Nashville, TN
Remembering Rich
Meant hearing stories about
Petersons kissing
9-08-07 Tremont, IL
The combines were out
And harvest time means one thing:
Disc Golf Tournament
9-07-07 St. Charles, MO
I had two women
Ask me to go out with them
Ben’s Grandma and Aunt
9-02-07 Nashville, TN
Playing Wrecking Ball
Made a lot of sense before
Tearing down the place
8-31-07 Little Rock, AR
Like men at weddings
My electric gear sat there
With nothing to do
8-26-07 Omaha, NE
Proof that my movies
Have eclipsed my songwriting:
Requests for Ringo
8-12-07 Ocala, FL
Here is some advice
If you need stress in your life
Fly into Gainesville
7-27-07 Metarie, LA
Twas love at first sight
This was the night that I met
The Nintendo Wii
6-16-07 Hartland, WI
Tonight’s cheese song proved
Every solo is better
With played on kazoos
6-8-07 Conyers, GA
This was our last trip
As a family of four with
A big-bellied mom
6-2-07 Bonne Terre, MO
First state park concert8-12-07
Complete with my bronchitis
And peed pants stories
6-1-07 St.Louis, MO
Wonderful house show
Well, the house was wonderful
And there was a show
5-25-07 Naperville, IL
Wonderful venue
And great show were topped off by
Ted’s Montana Grill
5-23-07 Chicago, IL
Air Conditioning
Cooled rooms are overrated
I used to think that
5-13-07 Gothenburg, Sweden
We rushed through sound check
Then sprinted about a mile
To go see Hot Fuzz
and
It was mother’s day
I sent my wife a picture
Of the flowers they gave me after the show before I gave them away to the kind lady singing for erik
5-12-07 Huskvarna/Jonkoping, Sweden
After the sound check
I tried the swedish thrift store
But it had just closed
5-11-07 Sundbyberg, Sweden
Jet lag finally comes
Almost drool on my guitar
Sleeping through two songs
5-10-07 Norrkoping, Sweden
Sounds like NOR-SHER-PING
Its still hard to make jokes here
However you say it
5-9-07 Orebro, Sweden
Late morning bike ride
First show with Erik and Ted
I have two sore legs
5-5-07 San Diego, CA
Pad in the city
If it wasn’t for these kids
I would be cool too
5-4-07 LaMesa, CA
So good to be back
But gone was the green room where
I would watch football
4-29-07 Winchester, TN
Must have missed the sign
So we were late for sound check
And the potluck feast
4-28-07 Dalton, GA
I am having more kids
So we can someday compete
With Earl’s bluegrass band
4-24-07 Knoxville, TN
Mullet song requests
I guess they’ll have to wait for
The new new city
4-22-07 Chattanooga, TN
Church bathroom shower
Washing off poison ivy
Before the concert
4-21-07 Lawrenceville, GA
Tonight’s opener
Comedy with Faith Hill song
“I can smell you breathe”
4-20-07 Columbia, SC
All downhill from here
When the opener is a
Banjo champion
4-19-07 Mooresville, NC
You better drive slow
Or in the dark you might miss
This camouflaged church
4-11-07 Jonesboro, AR
“This is horrible”
Heard at Left Behind movies
And tonight, my show
3-21-07 LaMirada, CA - Biola University
Right after the show
We raced two hundred meters
To my victory
3-17-07 Chesapeake, VA
Yet another first
Walk out on stage following
The voice of Jafar
3-11=07 Amarillo, TX
Free advertising
Four Larrivees on the stage
But no endorsements?
3-9-07 Dallas, TX
1:30 a.m.
A young girl plays in ash tray
Taco cabana
(yummy)
(no - I mean it. The food was yummy.)
3-7-07 Baylor University Chapel Waco, TX
Quote of the morning
“Really, Jill, I think of you
In all sorts of ways”
3-6-07 Waco, TX
Mighty house concert
This place brings me pasta bake
And Jill - allergies
3-1-07 Bowling Green, KY
Just like basketball
Mandolin comes to the games
Then just rides the pine
2-26-07 Memphis, TN
Much like my stardom
That feedback you’re hearing?
Imagination
2-22-07 Orlando, FL
Beautiful weather
Much better than years ago
With the alpacas
2-21-07 Leesburg, FL
Good looking cheesecake
Of course, I gave up desserts
This first day of lent
2-18-07 Monument, CO
A house full of folks,
Enchalada casserole
And legend, Don Lash
2-17-07 Colorado Springs, CO
Glen eyrie castle
Ancient architecture and
Seventies decor
2-16-07 Castle Rock, CO
The lengthy concert
Was nothing compared to the
Drive through the snow storm
2-11-07 North Augusta, SC
When no one could see
I would sneak up the stairs for
Volunteer donuts
2-10-06 Augusta, GA
Thong on a clothesline
A first time for everything
And, I hope, the last
1-27-07 Asheville, NC
Men sharing feelings
So whatever happened to
That drum beating stuff?
1-24-07 Laity Lodge, TX
What a big sissy
I found myself tearing up
At poetry night
1-5-07 Colorado Springs, CO
You get some eggs and
Way too much information
From the omelet chef
2006 Haiku Reviews
Dec-27,2006
12-15-06 Taylors, SC
Last day of the tour
Full of more boggle frenzy
And prayers for Todd’s back
12-14-06 Charlotte, NC
Intervention time?
Boggle is quickly getting
Way out of control
12-12-06 Westerville, OH
Don’t drink the green punch
Andrew’s dropping cookie crumbs
into the punch bowl
12-10-06 Jacksonville, FL
In the mission house
You can see Eric Peters’
Sinking battleship
12-9-06 Orlando, FL
Just like the old days
Jonathan and Amanda
Singing BGVs
12-8-06 Fayetteville, GA
The land of dickens
“Andrew Peterson Concert”
In british accents
12-7-06 Huntsville, AL
Late night Wendy’s run
I do my best to act as
Nerd Face counselor
12-6-06 Nashville, TN
Mr. Pierce Pettis
Expose us as amateurs
With “That Kind of Love”
12-5-06 Cookeville, TN
Tour bus illnesses
The new victim of the day?
Sandra McCracken
12-3-06 Cincinnati, OH
I left the sound check
To catch the Titans and their
Sixty yard field goal
12-2-06 Northfield, IL
Like Pandora’s box
There was no turning back from
Opening Boggle
12-1-06 Elkhorn, NE
A marvelous day
Wall ball, hot cookies, pizza
And a great massage
11-28-06 Augusta, KS
Historical fact
Eric Peters looks just like
Apostle Phillip
11-27-06 Houston, TX
Andrew Osenga
Please don’t go and leave me with
Electric guitar
11-26-06 Houston, TX
Every tour begins
With a last minute trip to
A guitar center
11-18-06 Berrien Springs, MI
Who cares ‘bout CDs?
Everybody just wanted
A Klektar T-Shirt
11-12-06 Traverse City, MI
Any church that has
Croissandwiches and the Rock
Is my kind of church
11-5-06 Opelika, AL
Image burned on brain
After hearing Kevin talk
About vomiting
11-5-06 Auburn, AL
We brought our two kids
But could not keep their hands off
The chocolate doughnuts
11-3-06 Dayton, OH
Dear Mr. thief man
Thanks for adding to my life
Three months of paperwork
10-27-06 Lincoln, NE
Cramps in my stomach
The result of dessert then
Ultimate frisbee
10-22-06 Gulf Shores, AL
Just like a ghost town
Almost all the restaurants closed
In this off season
10-19-06 Point Lookout, MO
Dinner at the lodge
Was followed by a surprise
Marvin’s flat tire
10-14-06 Durham, NC
How did I prepare?
With a pre-show ping pong game
Kicking Page’s butt
10-13-06 Greensboro, NC
The people were great
The conference concert was great
My headache was not
10-12-06 Johnson City, TN
Hike in the mountains
See the ninja like powers
Hitoshi displays
10-6-06 Boston, MA (Gordon Conwell Inaguration)
I don’t wear suits much
How was I to know it had
A hole in the back
9-30-06 Madison, TN
I can’t just say no
To a tray from Chick-Fil-A
With nuggets on it
9-29-06 Knoxville, TN
Little did we know
That this would be our last time
In this new city
9-10-06 Atlanta, GA
Handing out ear plugs
Here comes the opening act
High school marching band
9-7-06 Augusta, KS
Familiar faces
Familiar Andrew beat-down
At ping pong table
9-7-06 Friends University
When sound problems come
It just means many more trips
Up that darn ladder
9-6-06 Wichita, KS
I’ve played many shows
But never have I seen such
Mounted monitors
9-1-06 Muskegon, MI
Labor day weekend
Where even the small ice cream
Is big as your face
8-27-06 Cary, NC
Here I am again
Another women’s event
Treated like a king
8-25-06 Little Rock, AR
Is it really true
That our Legacy hotel
Has Bill Clinton fame?
8-22-06 SPA Show Nashville, TN
Let us just pretend
All of that feedback we heard
Was angels singing
8-13-06 – 8-18-06 Centricity Retreat, WA
Listening to Mark
Feeling a bit self conscious
About my web skills
And
A tip for restaurants:
When you have a large party
It would be helpful to be able to cook more than two steaks at a time
8-11-06 Leitchfield, KY
Party animals
Rocking the acoustic stage
Until 1 A.M.
8-10-06 Lafayette, IN
What a perfect day
Some homemade enchiladas
And then some Putt Putt
7-29-06 Kingsport, TN
Ben’s dad was with us
So we celebrated with
Some Narnian food
7-19-06 Opelika, AL
“Iffy” car AC
Alabama in July
Not a good combo
7-18-06 Birmingham, AL
Chuck lays down the law
With a suit and tie he says
“No loud kids allowed”
7-16-06 Camp Greystone, NC
I do not fit in
I’m a guy with no white clothes
But you welcome me
7-5-06 Southeastern Youth Camp, AL
Saxophone player
Serenading me after
Delayed fireworks
7-1-06 Denver, CO
Questions in a van
What else could be more fun for
A bachelor party
6-3-06 thru 6-7-06 Lake Saranac, NY
Best of twenty five
I won the ping pong tourney
Thirteen – eleven
And
Burning ring of Fire
We were to sand volleyball
As Armstrong to bikes
And
I’m sorry Kristen
I wrongfully blamed you for
An atomic sneeze
5-21-06 Rural Hall, NC
Come at your own risk
Especially if you sit
By the sound man’s tent
5-12-06 Pickerington, OH
It’s impossible
To keep playing through the song
When Mark is laughing
5-4-06 Jackson, TN
What do I recall
From this benefit concert?
The turtle chex mix
4-30-06 Maine Correctional Institute
Lunch with the ladies
That orange stuff on the plate there?
Not sweet potatoes
4-29-06 Lewiston, ME
So nice to meet you
Hitoshi Yamaguchi
Want to play cello?
4-28-06 Chapel Hill, NC
North Carolina
We just cant sound check without
Singing James Taylor
And
After the concert
Look out for the asbestos
Right by the pancakes
4-21-06 Little Rock, AR
High stage, low ceiling
Now I finally know what
Lionel Richie meant
4-10-06 Birmingham, AL
How insensitive
First, I make the women cry
Then I laugh at them
4-08-06 Louisville, KY
A strange rehearsal
That’s what I call any show
During a dinner
4-07-06 Flint, MI
Dear Jill Barnett’s mom,
All that cooking and selling?
You should get a raise.
and
Achatz Bakery
My wife totally freaked out
When a guy in the airport on the way home almost sat on the pie box.
(p.s. – you keep bringing the pies – and the haikus will never stop)
4-01-06 Chattanooga, TN
Not for the money
I drove down here to this show
For the free ice cream
3-24-06 Charlotte, NC
Just like a sore thumb
I really stick out in a
Crowd of smart people
3-18-06 Marion, IL
Sing - loud as you can
That’s what you have to do when
Monitors don’t work
3-12-06 Summit, NJ
Playing for you guys
I’m reminded that I am
The old guy with kids
3-10-06 Watchung, NJ
Watchung Arts Center
With a great room and small crowd
Who needs sound systems?
3-01-06 Nashville, TN
With Cason, Ekberg
Osenga and Milligan
Eric rocks the house
2-25-06 Winchester TN Youth Winter Retreat
Oh those poor, poor kids
Eating food off plexi-glass
And through panty-hose
2-22-06 Baylor University Chapel
Today’s life lesson
Don’t steal music off the net
Just old ladies’ cars
2-21-06 Woodway, TX
Andrew scanned the crowd
Made sure the kids were gone for
The R Rated Part
2-07-06 Dallas, TX
Singing and Burping
Don’t eat Texadelphia
Right before the show
2-06-06 Bakersfield, CA
In and Out Burger
Even though I’m not hungry
I will still eat you
1-29-06 Miami, FL
Sold out of Cds
I think I sell twice as much
When twins sell the merch
1-27-06 Asheville, NC
Two different free times
Me – I hang out with grandma
You – with Billy Graham
1-03-06 Nashville, TN
Promises broken
“We will be back home by ten”
Poor babysitter
1-01-06 Clermont, FL
The hotel lobby
Not my favorite place to be
When the apple drops
Last day of the tour
Full of more boggle frenzy
And prayers for Todd’s back
12-14-06 Charlotte, NC
Intervention time?
Boggle is quickly getting
Way out of control
12-12-06 Westerville, OH
Don’t drink the green punch
Andrew’s dropping cookie crumbs
into the punch bowl
12-10-06 Jacksonville, FL
In the mission house
You can see Eric Peters’
Sinking battleship
12-9-06 Orlando, FL
Just like the old days
Jonathan and Amanda
Singing BGVs
12-8-06 Fayetteville, GA
The land of dickens
“Andrew Peterson Concert”
In british accents
12-7-06 Huntsville, AL
Late night Wendy’s run
I do my best to act as
Nerd Face counselor
12-6-06 Nashville, TN
Mr. Pierce Pettis
Expose us as amateurs
With “That Kind of Love”
12-5-06 Cookeville, TN
Tour bus illnesses
The new victim of the day?
Sandra McCracken
12-3-06 Cincinnati, OH
I left the sound check
To catch the Titans and their
Sixty yard field goal
12-2-06 Northfield, IL
Like Pandora’s box
There was no turning back from
Opening Boggle
12-1-06 Elkhorn, NE
A marvelous day
Wall ball, hot cookies, pizza
And a great massage
11-28-06 Augusta, KS
Historical fact
Eric Peters looks just like
Apostle Phillip
11-27-06 Houston, TX
Andrew Osenga
Please don’t go and leave me with
Electric guitar
11-26-06 Houston, TX
Every tour begins
With a last minute trip to
A guitar center
11-18-06 Berrien Springs, MI
Who cares ‘bout CDs?
Everybody just wanted
A Klektar T-Shirt
11-12-06 Traverse City, MI
Any church that has
Croissandwiches and the Rock
Is my kind of church
11-5-06 Opelika, AL
Image burned on brain
After hearing Kevin talk
About vomiting
11-5-06 Auburn, AL
We brought our two kids
But could not keep their hands off
The chocolate doughnuts
11-3-06 Dayton, OH
Dear Mr. thief man
Thanks for adding to my life
Three months of paperwork
10-27-06 Lincoln, NE
Cramps in my stomach
The result of dessert then
Ultimate frisbee
10-22-06 Gulf Shores, AL
Just like a ghost town
Almost all the restaurants closed
In this off season
10-19-06 Point Lookout, MO
Dinner at the lodge
Was followed by a surprise
Marvin’s flat tire
10-14-06 Durham, NC
How did I prepare?
With a pre-show ping pong game
Kicking Page’s butt
10-13-06 Greensboro, NC
The people were great
The conference concert was great
My headache was not
10-12-06 Johnson City, TN
Hike in the mountains
See the ninja like powers
Hitoshi displays
10-6-06 Boston, MA (Gordon Conwell Inaguration)
I don’t wear suits much
How was I to know it had
A hole in the back
9-30-06 Madison, TN
I can’t just say no
To a tray from Chick-Fil-A
With nuggets on it
9-29-06 Knoxville, TN
Little did we know
That this would be our last time
In this new city
9-10-06 Atlanta, GA
Handing out ear plugs
Here comes the opening act
High school marching band
9-7-06 Augusta, KS
Familiar faces
Familiar Andrew beat-down
At ping pong table
9-7-06 Friends University
When sound problems come
It just means many more trips
Up that darn ladder
9-6-06 Wichita, KS
I’ve played many shows
But never have I seen such
Mounted monitors
9-1-06 Muskegon, MI
Labor day weekend
Where even the small ice cream
Is big as your face
8-27-06 Cary, NC
Here I am again
Another women’s event
Treated like a king
8-25-06 Little Rock, AR
Is it really true
That our Legacy hotel
Has Bill Clinton fame?
8-22-06 SPA Show Nashville, TN
Let us just pretend
All of that feedback we heard
Was angels singing
8-13-06 – 8-18-06 Centricity Retreat, WA
Listening to Mark
Feeling a bit self conscious
About my web skills
And
A tip for restaurants:
When you have a large party
It would be helpful to be able to cook more than two steaks at a time
8-11-06 Leitchfield, KY
Party animals
Rocking the acoustic stage
Until 1 A.M.
8-10-06 Lafayette, IN
What a perfect day
Some homemade enchiladas
And then some Putt Putt
7-29-06 Kingsport, TN
Ben’s dad was with us
So we celebrated with
Some Narnian food
7-19-06 Opelika, AL
“Iffy” car AC
Alabama in July
Not a good combo
7-18-06 Birmingham, AL
Chuck lays down the law
With a suit and tie he says
“No loud kids allowed”
7-16-06 Camp Greystone, NC
I do not fit in
I’m a guy with no white clothes
But you welcome me
7-5-06 Southeastern Youth Camp, AL
Saxophone player
Serenading me after
Delayed fireworks
7-1-06 Denver, CO
Questions in a van
What else could be more fun for
A bachelor party
6-3-06 thru 6-7-06 Lake Saranac, NY
Best of twenty five
I won the ping pong tourney
Thirteen – eleven
And
Burning ring of Fire
We were to sand volleyball
As Armstrong to bikes
And
I’m sorry Kristen
I wrongfully blamed you for
An atomic sneeze
5-21-06 Rural Hall, NC
Come at your own risk
Especially if you sit
By the sound man’s tent
5-12-06 Pickerington, OH
It’s impossible
To keep playing through the song
When Mark is laughing
5-4-06 Jackson, TN
What do I recall
From this benefit concert?
The turtle chex mix
4-30-06 Maine Correctional Institute
Lunch with the ladies
That orange stuff on the plate there?
Not sweet potatoes
4-29-06 Lewiston, ME
So nice to meet you
Hitoshi Yamaguchi
Want to play cello?
4-28-06 Chapel Hill, NC
North Carolina
We just cant sound check without
Singing James Taylor
And
After the concert
Look out for the asbestos
Right by the pancakes
4-21-06 Little Rock, AR
High stage, low ceiling
Now I finally know what
Lionel Richie meant
4-10-06 Birmingham, AL
How insensitive
First, I make the women cry
Then I laugh at them
4-08-06 Louisville, KY
A strange rehearsal
That’s what I call any show
During a dinner
4-07-06 Flint, MI
Dear Jill Barnett’s mom,
All that cooking and selling?
You should get a raise.
and
Achatz Bakery
My wife totally freaked out
When a guy in the airport on the way home almost sat on the pie box.
(p.s. – you keep bringing the pies – and the haikus will never stop)
4-01-06 Chattanooga, TN
Not for the money
I drove down here to this show
For the free ice cream
3-24-06 Charlotte, NC
Just like a sore thumb
I really stick out in a
Crowd of smart people
3-18-06 Marion, IL
Sing - loud as you can
That’s what you have to do when
Monitors don’t work
3-12-06 Summit, NJ
Playing for you guys
I’m reminded that I am
The old guy with kids
3-10-06 Watchung, NJ
Watchung Arts Center
With a great room and small crowd
Who needs sound systems?
3-01-06 Nashville, TN
With Cason, Ekberg
Osenga and Milligan
Eric rocks the house
2-25-06 Winchester TN Youth Winter Retreat
Oh those poor, poor kids
Eating food off plexi-glass
And through panty-hose
2-22-06 Baylor University Chapel
Today’s life lesson
Don’t steal music off the net
Just old ladies’ cars
2-21-06 Woodway, TX
Andrew scanned the crowd
Made sure the kids were gone for
The R Rated Part
2-07-06 Dallas, TX
Singing and Burping
Don’t eat Texadelphia
Right before the show
2-06-06 Bakersfield, CA
In and Out Burger
Even though I’m not hungry
I will still eat you
1-29-06 Miami, FL
Sold out of Cds
I think I sell twice as much
When twins sell the merch
1-27-06 Asheville, NC
Two different free times
Me – I hang out with grandma
You – with Billy Graham
1-03-06 Nashville, TN
Promises broken
“We will be back home by ten”
Poor babysitter
1-01-06 Clermont, FL
The hotel lobby
Not my favorite place to be
When the apple drops
2005 Haiku Reviews
Dec-27,2005
12-31-05 Clermont,
FL
Racist guy in Target
If you were not an old man in a little mechanical shopping cart
Ben might have punched you
12-18-05 Trussville, AL
Poor green room RV
You offered your lovely space
But nobody came
12-16-05 Milford, OH
Popcorn or puke
An odor confuses me
In the nursery hall
And
Who fixed that dinner?
If I win the lottery
Live in my kitchen
12-15-05 Johnson City, TN
Burning jealousy
Why else would Andrew and Gabe
Burn our Sudoku
And
Red and White bags
So surprised you are full of
Chicken Salad
And
Large dry erase board
You solved what we once thought was
Unsolvable
12-14-05 Ocala, FL
Frostbitten fingers
Hay plus December plus outside plus alpacas plus nativity scenes plus humidity equals
A memorable show
12-11-05 Nashville, TN
Cry for hours
The only way to respond
When Pierce teases
(Just kidding Pierce if you are reading this)
then
A rock star bassist
From now on that’s how I will
Set my guitar strap
12-10-05 Bowling Green, KY
Sorry Andrew P.
While busy with Sudoku
We missed our intro
12-09-05 West Mifflin, PA
Oh Corner Pocket
Your rough edges plus Knockout
Equaled a hurt thigh
12-08-05 Colorado Springs, CO
Seven folks tonight
Said altitude was the cause
For their flatulence
12-05-05 Chattanooga, TN
The three wheeled bike
Sandra kept interrupting
Our shuffleboard games
12-04-05 Midland, MI
Blue iced cookies
The red dot is for Midland
Michigan’s heart
And for the kind folks who drove down the huge bag full of pies from Troy… …
Four Berry Pie
Forget the ziplock pockets
Now - tupperware
12-03-05 Cedar Rapids, IA
Snow covered roads
We would have walked through that snow
To meet with the queen
12-02-05 Elkhorn, NE
The great dodgeball game
With Marcus here on my team
We’re undefeated
12-01-05 Michigan City, IN
Behind the stage props
Christian graffiti tells us
That Aslan Rules
11-19-05 Cottonwood, AZ
A bowl of bacon
Kay really knows how to get
Straight to a man’s heart
11-12-05 Lakeland, FL
One-thirty A.M
Finally I beat Andrew
At a ping pong game
10-28-05 Ann Arbor, MI
Ben broke his glasses
It was a small price to pay
To enter chaos
10-16-05 Amarillo, TX
I was scared to death
I did not want to be tazed
By the sentinels
10-14-05 Amarillo, TX
Women’s conferences
The best party you can crash
For good desserts
9-25-05 Murfreesboro, TN
Free Donuts
Half of the jelly one in Adie’s mouth
The rest on her shirt
9-12-05 Charlotte, NC
Neighborhood concerts
Balloon artists and popcorn stands
Are hard to compete with
9-1-05 Charleston, SC
When I die
Cover me with that dry rub
You put on that pork
8-27-05 Muskegon, MI
How appropriate
Not sure how to take being booked
On “no frills” weekend
8-24-05 Jonesboro, AR
It was an honor
To play a house concert for
The cast of Kamp Kill
8-20-05 Trussville, AL
Drunk David Lee Roth
That is what Travis looked like
During his rock show
8-13-05 Reno, NV
I am rebellious
I promise I didn’t know
No sandals on stage
8-07-05 Green Bay, WI
I can’t help myself
I like forcing the audience
To watch my kids
7-17-05 Rapid City, SD
There at Mount Rushmore
A Bird was making its home
In Roosevelt’s nose
7-05-05 SEYC – AL
The Middle Finger
I need to be more careful
Talking with my hands
6-30-05 Warner Robins, GA
Christian Festival
When you mix in Chik-Fil-A Mascot
You get a holy cow
6-18-05 West Mifflin, PA
Just like Y2K
I was ready and prepared
But nothing happened
6-11-05 Troy, MI
Four Berry Pie
I wish my pockets were made by ziplock
For I would take you with me everywhere
6-10-05 Monroe, MI
Kleenex and oil
These are just some of the things on stage
At a full gospel church
6-9-05 Terre Haute, IN
Stories about Ray Boltz
There is no better way to prepare
For rocking the house
5-28-05 Collegedale, TN
The frightened sound man yells,
“Please don’t let that kid play with that microphone”
As it falls 5 feet to the ground
Sorry*
*extra line added for apology reasons only. I know it is not proper Haiku form**
** I am not claiming that any of these other “poems” are proper Haiku form***
*** Get off my back
5-14-05 Sdr. Felding, Denmark
Peace and Thank You
I only know two Danish words
Tak and Fred
4-29-05 Nashvile, TN (Sounds Game)
The rain threatens
So many free hot dogs
So little time
4-27-05 Nashville, TN (Belmont U)
It’s great to be back
Apparently both of the people at the show
Feel the same way
4-23-05 Santa Fe, NM
A Traveler’s Paradise
Of course this was the first show in 7 years I could not accompany Jill on
Can you tell I am bitter
4-17-05 – Santa Fe, TX
The 80s Rock Band
Me with electric guitar
And Ben Shive on drums
4-9-05 – Barrington Hills, IL
Some money well spent
It was worth all of those big tithes
For those cool windows
4-2-05 – Point Lookout, MO
Branson, Missouri
You’re the home of Hard Work U
And Yakov Smirnoff
3-2-05 – Memphis, TN
Mysterious Rash
All over Drew’s face and arms
From the Hotel sheets
2-28-05 – Memphis, TN
Rendezvous Ribs
The parking garage is full
Of your aroma
2-23-05 – Augusta, KS
Upon the wall
There are pictures of a 110 pound little kid
Named Andy Peterson
2-18-05 – Winterville, NC
Krispy Kreme
The one thing I can always count on
At womens conferences
2-16-05 – Jackson, TN
First time at Union
I try to impress everyone with
Instruments I did not play
2-13-05 – Houston, TX
Just because I said
Along Came Polly was awesome
It does not mean I liked it
1-27-05 – Asheville, NC
Faith like a child
It will not get you past the gate
At the Cove
1-16-05 – Valparaiso, IN
After the show
Smell of Fazzoli’s Breadstick
Make stomach grumble
Racist guy in Target
If you were not an old man in a little mechanical shopping cart
Ben might have punched you
12-18-05 Trussville, AL
Poor green room RV
You offered your lovely space
But nobody came
12-16-05 Milford, OH
Popcorn or puke
An odor confuses me
In the nursery hall
And
Who fixed that dinner?
If I win the lottery
Live in my kitchen
12-15-05 Johnson City, TN
Burning jealousy
Why else would Andrew and Gabe
Burn our Sudoku
And
Red and White bags
So surprised you are full of
Chicken Salad
And
Large dry erase board
You solved what we once thought was
Unsolvable
12-14-05 Ocala, FL
Frostbitten fingers
Hay plus December plus outside plus alpacas plus nativity scenes plus humidity equals
A memorable show
12-11-05 Nashville, TN
Cry for hours
The only way to respond
When Pierce teases
(Just kidding Pierce if you are reading this)
then
A rock star bassist
From now on that’s how I will
Set my guitar strap
12-10-05 Bowling Green, KY
Sorry Andrew P.
While busy with Sudoku
We missed our intro
12-09-05 West Mifflin, PA
Oh Corner Pocket
Your rough edges plus Knockout
Equaled a hurt thigh
12-08-05 Colorado Springs, CO
Seven folks tonight
Said altitude was the cause
For their flatulence
12-05-05 Chattanooga, TN
The three wheeled bike
Sandra kept interrupting
Our shuffleboard games
12-04-05 Midland, MI
Blue iced cookies
The red dot is for Midland
Michigan’s heart
And for the kind folks who drove down the huge bag full of pies from Troy… …
Four Berry Pie
Forget the ziplock pockets
Now - tupperware
12-03-05 Cedar Rapids, IA
Snow covered roads
We would have walked through that snow
To meet with the queen
12-02-05 Elkhorn, NE
The great dodgeball game
With Marcus here on my team
We’re undefeated
12-01-05 Michigan City, IN
Behind the stage props
Christian graffiti tells us
That Aslan Rules
11-19-05 Cottonwood, AZ
A bowl of bacon
Kay really knows how to get
Straight to a man’s heart
11-12-05 Lakeland, FL
One-thirty A.M
Finally I beat Andrew
At a ping pong game
10-28-05 Ann Arbor, MI
Ben broke his glasses
It was a small price to pay
To enter chaos
10-16-05 Amarillo, TX
I was scared to death
I did not want to be tazed
By the sentinels
10-14-05 Amarillo, TX
Women’s conferences
The best party you can crash
For good desserts
9-25-05 Murfreesboro, TN
Free Donuts
Half of the jelly one in Adie’s mouth
The rest on her shirt
9-12-05 Charlotte, NC
Neighborhood concerts
Balloon artists and popcorn stands
Are hard to compete with
9-1-05 Charleston, SC
When I die
Cover me with that dry rub
You put on that pork
8-27-05 Muskegon, MI
How appropriate
Not sure how to take being booked
On “no frills” weekend
8-24-05 Jonesboro, AR
It was an honor
To play a house concert for
The cast of Kamp Kill
8-20-05 Trussville, AL
Drunk David Lee Roth
That is what Travis looked like
During his rock show
8-13-05 Reno, NV
I am rebellious
I promise I didn’t know
No sandals on stage
8-07-05 Green Bay, WI
I can’t help myself
I like forcing the audience
To watch my kids
7-17-05 Rapid City, SD
There at Mount Rushmore
A Bird was making its home
In Roosevelt’s nose
7-05-05 SEYC – AL
The Middle Finger
I need to be more careful
Talking with my hands
6-30-05 Warner Robins, GA
Christian Festival
When you mix in Chik-Fil-A Mascot
You get a holy cow
6-18-05 West Mifflin, PA
Just like Y2K
I was ready and prepared
But nothing happened
6-11-05 Troy, MI
Four Berry Pie
I wish my pockets were made by ziplock
For I would take you with me everywhere
6-10-05 Monroe, MI
Kleenex and oil
These are just some of the things on stage
At a full gospel church
6-9-05 Terre Haute, IN
Stories about Ray Boltz
There is no better way to prepare
For rocking the house
5-28-05 Collegedale, TN
The frightened sound man yells,
“Please don’t let that kid play with that microphone”
As it falls 5 feet to the ground
Sorry*
*extra line added for apology reasons only. I know it is not proper Haiku form**
** I am not claiming that any of these other “poems” are proper Haiku form***
*** Get off my back
5-14-05 Sdr. Felding, Denmark
Peace and Thank You
I only know two Danish words
Tak and Fred
4-29-05 Nashvile, TN (Sounds Game)
The rain threatens
So many free hot dogs
So little time
4-27-05 Nashville, TN (Belmont U)
It’s great to be back
Apparently both of the people at the show
Feel the same way
4-23-05 Santa Fe, NM
A Traveler’s Paradise
Of course this was the first show in 7 years I could not accompany Jill on
Can you tell I am bitter
4-17-05 – Santa Fe, TX
The 80s Rock Band
Me with electric guitar
And Ben Shive on drums
4-9-05 – Barrington Hills, IL
Some money well spent
It was worth all of those big tithes
For those cool windows
4-2-05 – Point Lookout, MO
Branson, Missouri
You’re the home of Hard Work U
And Yakov Smirnoff
3-2-05 – Memphis, TN
Mysterious Rash
All over Drew’s face and arms
From the Hotel sheets
2-28-05 – Memphis, TN
Rendezvous Ribs
The parking garage is full
Of your aroma
2-23-05 – Augusta, KS
Upon the wall
There are pictures of a 110 pound little kid
Named Andy Peterson
2-18-05 – Winterville, NC
Krispy Kreme
The one thing I can always count on
At womens conferences
2-16-05 – Jackson, TN
First time at Union
I try to impress everyone with
Instruments I did not play
2-13-05 – Houston, TX
Just because I said
Along Came Polly was awesome
It does not mean I liked it
1-27-05 – Asheville, NC
Faith like a child
It will not get you past the gate
At the Cove
1-16-05 – Valparaiso, IN
After the show
Smell of Fazzoli’s Breadstick
Make stomach grumble
2004 Haiku Reviews
Dec-12,2004
12-12-04 –
Nashville, TN
Ryman Auditorium
Proof that Andrew Peterson
Is a country singer
11-21-04 – Toledo, OH
Detroit Airport
Never trust Matt and Pat
With parking ticket
11-20-04 – Lubbock, TX
People Mover
John will lead the way
To Amarillo
11-14-04 – New Port Richey, FL
Second Time Around
Peter Gabriel and George Carlin combine
In worship leader
11-10-04 – Virginia Beach, VA
Ryman Auditorium
Proof that Andrew Peterson
Is a country singer
11-21-04 – Toledo, OH
Detroit Airport
Never trust Matt and Pat
With parking ticket
11-20-04 – Lubbock, TX
People Mover
John will lead the way
To Amarillo
11-14-04 – New Port Richey, FL
Second Time Around
Peter Gabriel and George Carlin combine
In worship leader
11-10-04 – Virginia Beach, VA