French Fries
It has been quite a while since I
have reviewed anything or posted any sort of blog so
I thought I would return with a very important topic
– French Fries.
Since my job as a national music superstar involves
quite a bit of travel and thus quite a bit of dining
at fast food establishments, I consider myself an
expert in the field. I must make the disclaimer,
however (in case my wife is reading), that I have
severely cut down on my fast food intake.
Anyways, I thought it would be beneficial to the
general public for me to rank one of the staples of
fast food side items – the french fry. Occasionally
there are some other side items available – the best
of which would be the cheese curds at the A&W
restaurants – but for now I am only ranking the
french fries at major fast food restaurant chains.
10. Krystal
Upside: They fill the emptiness in your stomach
Downside: They don’t taste very good
I lived in Nashville for ten years before I even
dared to eat at this place. I had some of their
little Krystal-Chik sandwiches and was pleasantly
surprised so I have been back on occasion. Like any
other American, I have been programmed to need fries
and a drink with every food purchase so I am forced
to get their fries whenever I eat there. These fries
are as close to a neutral taste as you get. They
don’t have much salt (if any) and are often limp and
soggy. If you don’t have ketchup or anything you
might as well just soak the paper cover you took off
of your straw and eat it.
9. Wendy’s
Upside: Frosty dipping
Downside: Can sometimes actually taste bad
At their best, Wendy’s fries can be good enough to
make you want to eat all of the ones you paid for. At
their worst they can have an aftertaste that will
make you long for a Krystal fry. The only reason
these fries are ranked higher than Krystal is because
they sometimes have salt on them and there is always
the possibility that you could be dipping them into a
frosty. I recently had some of their fries with the
aftertaste problem. They tasted OK at first and then
the salty taste gave way to some metallic taste like
I was handling old pennies all day and then licked my
fingers. Not recommended.
8. Sonic
Upside: Tater Tot substitution
Downside: Fries are generic
Sonic’s strongpoint is not their fry. I go for the
Cherry Limeade. Their fries are very
middle-of-the-road similar to ones you might get at a
baseball game or something – but they get extra
points for offering the tater tot alternative. I
usually take advantage of this substitution option.
Tater tots are always the superior choice not only
because they taste better, but they actually trick
you into thinking that you are eating potatoes rather
than fries.
7. Burger King
Upside: Unique taste
Downside: Unique taste
These fries have a unique taste that is not
necessarily better than the other joints, but they
stand out because they have a little bit more of a
crunchy element to them and they are usually fairly
salty.
6. Steak-n-Shake
Upside: Skinny and salty
Downside: Somehow harder to eat
I have a love-hate relationship with this kind of
fry. They are really skinny and taste pretty good but
they aren’t as fun to eat as bigger fries are. I
always feel like I need to use a fork or something.
5. KFC
Upside: Crusty Seasoned taste
Downside: Pam Anderson will be mad at you
Most people haven’t tried these “potato wedges”
before but they are missing out. They are caked in
some of that “seasoned fry” batter and actually taste
pretty good. Also, being “wedges” instead of “fries”
once again makes you feel better because you feel
like you are eating more actual potato. It is not
really any better for you, but perception is
everything.
4. McDonalds
Upside: Salt
Downside: Obesity and eventual death
This is the highest ranking “standard fry” in my
book. The secret? Salt and more salt. The fact that I
like McDonalds’ fries so much makes me wonder if it
would be a good idea to buy one of those salt blocks
they make for cows and just keep it on my kitchen
counter so that I can lick it whenever I pass by.
They are a guilty pleasure for sure. I gave them up
for a while along with all other McDonalds food after
I watched Super Size Me. Unfortunately my ban was
quite short-lived. The first time I was in a car with
someone who ordered those fries – I knew I just had
to have them again. I think they are made with some
type of addictive drug.
3. Arby’s
Upside: Seasoning taste
Downside: Less food mass per order
I am talking about the seasoned curly fries here
because as far as I am concerned there is no other
option at this place. These fries taste great. The
only downside is that I am convinced that they can’t
fit very many of those spiral fries in the little fry
cups – so you are getting less fry for the money.
2. Chik-Fil-A
Upside: Healthy illusion
Downside: No fries on Sunday
Somehow when you take salty fries and serve them in a
waffle shape, they feel healthier. I don’t know that
I would like these fries as much as McDonalds if they
were just normal fry-shape but the fact that you
might be able to see the skin of the potato on the
fry makes you feel that you are eating much
healthier. To make them even better, I dip them in
the Polynesian sauce I get for my awesome nuggets. It
is quite a combo.
1. Checkers/Rally’s
Upside: Mostest Awesomest Taste
Downside: I can’t stop eating them
Some people have never experienced these fries, but
for a fan of the seasoned fry, Checkers is the
greatest place in the world. Maybe by ranking them
number one I will get an official endorsement with
them to receive free fries for the rest of my life.
If you see me sometime soon and I look swollen, you
will know why.
*There are other places that have wonderful fries
like In-N-Out, Ruby Tuesday’s, Five Guys and Red
Robin – but they do not qualify for this test.
Opinions: The Luggage Carts at LAX
In order to really experience life, you have to be able to find joy in the little things. Boy do I know how to experience life. Today I flew in to LAX an upon reaching the baggage claim area, I did what I always do - I went outside to the curb-side pickup area to look for a free luggage cart. If you know anything about me, you know I am cheap. There is no way I am going to pay $3 for something I can get for free if I just walk around a bit. Sometimes I go past the pickup area into the short term parking lots looking for these things. Anyways, this time was easy. I spotted an abandoned cart in the area where you wait for a rental car bus. Normally I would get the cart, load the luggage and go on with my day. This time, however, was different. I knew within the first few feet I pushed this cart that it was one of the best I have ever come in contact with. It had no wobbly wheel issues. The turns were super smooth. It was quiet as a mouse. It might have had shocks for all I know. I can’t say that the design was most conducive for maximum luggage packing capability, but who cares. It felt so good. So if you are tired of the loud, clunky, stubborn, regular old smarte carte options - go to the Los Angeles airport and check out their luggage carts. They might even be worth the $3. Well, not really.
RATING: 3 Gullys
Opinions: Red Robin
The other day I got a call from my friend who has taken up the job of being a secret shopper while he is off the road for a while. His mission: to go to Red Robin in Mt. Juliet to get something to eat. The only catch was that he had to take someone else. I gladly came along for a free meal. I had been to a Red Robin many times before, but today my burger was more heavenly than I had ever experienced before. Normally, I am a Ruby Tuesday Smokehouse Bison Burger person. I would still do an endorsement with Ruby’s if they wanted - but I have to say that my Barbecue burger at Red Robin was even better. It had a bunch of the onion straws in the burger. It had bacon. It had barbecue sauce. It was magical. As a burger expert, I felt like I owed Red Robin some props on here.
RATING: 4 Gullys
Opinions: Hot Diggety Dogs
I heard about this place from Andrew Peterson and Eric Peters. The last time I went to eat with these two fools was at some Cajun restaurant where Eric made us eat boudin (boo-dan). To Cajuns, boudin is like a sausage. To non-Cajuns like me and AP, boudin is like eating pre-digested rice out of someone’s lower intestine like a push-up popsicle. No thanks. On to the hot dogs. This restaurant is really just a little trailer behind a tiny Episcopal church in downtown Nashville. It has four picnic tables on a patio out back. The same lady is always there taking the orders and the money – she must be one of the owners. They have a bunch of different options for your hot dog – chili, slaw, saurkraut, baked beans, etc. – as well as some brat and other sausage options. I always order the chili cheese dogs partly because it is affectionately called “The Texan” but mostly because I love chili cheese dogs. To be precise, my usual order is “Two Texans charred with fries”. Charred just means that they put it on the grill. After they cook it, they cut the ends with scissors and it makes bookends to keep all of the chili and stuff inside the bun. Genius. The fries are just as good as the hot dogs. I could eat way more than two Texans, but I would feel like a fatso around Eric Peters who has a stomach the size of a “fun size” Snickers bar. (SIDE NOTE: If the kind ladies from Hot Diggety Dogs are reading this, send me some secret password that I can say when I order so you will know it is me and I can get free fries with every order. I will even print up my first ever 8x10 glossy on my Epson stylus and sign it for the wall of your hot dog hut.)
RATING: 4 Gullys
Opinions: Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip
After watching the Series Premiere of this show, I had no problem adding it to my coveted Season Pass list. Jill and I watched The West Wing for a while until we got tired of it – but always liked the fast paced dialogue. Aaron Sorkin has done the same with this show. What makes the concept and quick dialogue even better is the chemistry between the actors. Matthew Perry and Bradley Whitford are good together. I understand that some Christians feel like the show is Christian-bashing. I am guessing that this initially comes from a slam that Matthew Perry delivers about Pat Robertson. I can see where they are coming from, but it doesn’t bother me. I would rather the writers be honest about how they feel – and there is a main Christian character who at least presents the other side. Jill tells me that this little sub-plot actually parallels the past relationship between Sorkin and Kristen Chinoweth. She knows everything about TV and movies. I guess those Entertainment Weeklys are good for something after all.
RATING: 3 Gullys
Opinions: The Griddle
Recently, Andrew P. and I stayed with our friend Allan in Los Angeles. As he headed off to work he told us to walk a couple of blocks to this restaurant called the Griddle. He said the pancakes were huge and since portion size means a lot to us, we went. It was kind of like Pancake Pantry in Nashville in that it was crowded and you had wait for a place to sit. It was nothing like Pancake Pantry in that this was L.A. which means that they have some healthy options, pancakes were $10 and the wait staff looked like they jumped straight out of an Abercrombie & Fitch catalogue. In Nashville you have songwriters for waiters. In L.A. you have actors. AP and I took a seat at the bar because we didn’t feel like waiting for a table (and I love eating at the bar). We both ordered Mom’s French Toast. When they brought it out, there were only two pieces on the plate. Each piece of bread was about the size of a cowboy hat and one inch thick. It came with a baseball-sized scoop of butter and was dusted in powdered sugar. I don’t know if magic has a taste, but if it does - it probably tastes like this french toast.
RATING: 4 ½ Gullys
Opinions: New Adventures of Old Christine
I saw that Julia Louise-Dreyfus won an Emmy for this show and realized that it had been on for a whole season without me knowing. Jill always says that Julia (who I have a hard time not calling Elaine) would play her in her bio-pic. I always hoped that one of these post-Seinfeld shows would work but each one so far failed because once you are George Costanza you are always George Costanza. Maybe this one would be different. Jill and I finally sat down to give it a try after having our TiVo track down an episode. If it was good we wanted to catch this whole season. We both wanted to stop watching and delete it from the TiVo before the first commercial break. We tried giving it a few more minutes after fast-forwarding through the commercials but I started thinking of all of the things I would rather be doing like clipping my toenails, washing the dishes, listening to a Counting Crows live CD or water torture. To be fair – it was only one half of one episode but there was something about the jokes, the acting and the laugh track that made hitting the delete button an easy decision. I think that the laugh track had cued me to laughter at least 18 times in the time we watched but I wasn’t anywhere in the vicinity of humored – and I was really trying to be. I guess after watching Arrested Development and The Office (British and American) I am just not used to the whole canned laughter thing. Maybe if I had watched a few episodes of the sitcom with Charlie Sheen in it I would have been better prepared. I can say that Elaine was good in it despite the bad script but I still wouldn’t want to watch Daniel Day Lewis in Snakes on a Plane. Wait. Maybe I would.
RATING: 1 Gully
Opinions: Best Western
I stayed here the other night when I was on the road with Jill, Ben Shive and Andrew Peterson. We were driving back from Branson and wanted to get some miles out of the way the night of the show so we drove the 3 hours to Conroe. We tried the Holiday Inn Express because those are usually really nice. Turns out that almost all of the hotels in that area were sold out. All of them except the Best Western. We just needed a place to get seven or so hours of sleep so how bad could it be? Well, the staircase up to our room smelled like vomit. Not vaguely like vomit – exactly like vomit. The room was pretty much what you would expect from a motel like this. Nothing too offensive but about as comfortable as a barely furnished dorm room. The play was to sleep until 9 AM since we got in so late. At 7 AM there were workers setting panels of dry wall up against our window. They were in the middle of renovating part of the motel. This made me think that if I were the manager of a hotel I would do things differently. No maintenance or housekeeping until after 9:30 AM. Surely the Best Western folks know that we aren’t there to enjoy the beautiful facility. We are there to sleep. Anything that gets in the way of this should be outlawed. I got out of bed and jumped in the shower where the shower head was about 5 feet up on the wall. In order for me to wash my hair I either have to get down on my knees or pretend like I am a contestant in the last round of limbo. Come on people.
RATING: 1 Gully
Opinions: Gilmore Girls
Over a year ago one of my best friends told us that we needed to start watching Gilmore Girls. He said he watched it all the time with his wife. I laughed at the guy and told him that he was such a wuss. No way I am watching Gilmore Girls. Not only does it have that horribly feminine name, but it is on the WB. The third strike against the show was that the music throughout the show was just a lady singing “la la la” in some form or fashion. Well, Jill started TIVOing the shows from the WB and the re-runs from ABC Family (4th strike) and I would occasionally catch a little bit of them. I actually found myself sitting down for a few seconds to watch a little.
Now, today, I have to admit that we are on the 20th episode of the 3rd Season on DVD. That means that I have watched over 40 hours worth of this show so far. Because I am so secure in my manhood, I can now admit that I actually like the show. It has really great writing. It is actually funny. And now that I have come out of the Gilmore closet, I am discovering that many of my other married guy friends have also been tricked into the same discovery. It is a show that we can watch with our wives – pretending that we hate it and are only watching it because we love them – but actually enjoy on some level. Not like watching Christy or Under The Tuscan Sun. My endorsement of the show, however, comes with a condition. If you are a man – and are going to agree to watch this show – you must actively counterbalance it with super manly activities. If you don’t do this, you are at risk of growing up to be the kind of dad who likes watching figure skating on Sunday afternoons, talks mainly about fat content in foods, wraps presents properly, and is afraid to go on roller coasters at theme parks. Don’t let this happen.
RATING: 3 ½ Gullys
Opinions: A Day Without A Mexican
Being the avid library supporter that I am, I noticed this movie a few times at our local branch – and thought about renting it – but never did. Then, with all of the immigration stuff going on lately, I heard something about the movie on the news so I rented it for my trip to Lake Saranac. This movie is set in California where one day this strange storm comes in and all of the Latinos disappear. It is obviously trying to show how hard life would be without the immigrants that people are complaining about. I can agree with this point. (SIDE NOTE: I got a forwarded e-mail a while back from some “Christian” organization urging American Christians to buy a bunch of stuff on the immigration Monday that happened about a month ago. It said we need to show them that they don’t rule our economy. I think it might have been the least Christian “Christian” e-mail I have ever received. Give me a break.)
So back to the movie. They were making their point that we would really miss the immigrants if they all left. We need to appreciate them more. My problem is not with their purpose, it is just that the movie was really stupid. There was one surviving Latino who was actually Armenian but didn’t know it until late in the movie. When she found out about her real parents, she said that her heart was Mexican. Then she disappeared. How touching. I really wanted to like this movie because there is no greater feeling than being able to recommend a movie nobody has heard of. But nobody wants to hear that you are disappointed in a movie they have never heard of. So save yourself the trouble. Just admit that you would really miss the immigrants if we kicked them all out – then you don’t have to watch this bad movie.
RATING: 1 Gully
Opinions: Lost Season One Finale
From the same guy who created Alias and eventually handed over those writing duties to a fourth grade D&D social club (see below) comes possibly the greatest season finale I have seen since The Office Christmas Special (the British one). This show is great. I know everyone is telling me that I need to watch Grey’s Anatomy and 24 – but come on. How could it be better than this? Now I just have to hope that JJ Abrams doesn’t leave this show anytime soon.
Rating: 4 Gullys
Opinions: Alias Finale
Jill used to make me watch Alias. She had this major crush on Michael Vartan who played Vaughn on the show. I think she thought it would be an equal trade off with me liking Jennifer Garner. She was wrong. Jennifer Garner reminds me of a friend from college. A GUY friend. She looks just like him. She never had a chance with me (like I had one with her). I digress.
So we watched the show for a couple of seasons until the entire plot changed completely and people kept dying and coming back and getting cloned and wearing face masks and stuff. Pretty unbelievable. Eventually it just got too ridiculous to watch. So we didn’t see the last couple of seasons. When the series finale came on, I went ahead and put it on the TIVO. We watched the whole thing. Holy moly. What a waste of time. The entire episode reminded me of the papers I used to have to write in grade school about one of the 50 states. I would put it off until the night before and then pull out the WorldBook Encyclopedia. I would then write beautifully about the state flower, bird and its history. Probably the most boring reading in the history of man. If I didn’t know that the finale had to be shot way ahead of time, I would have thought the plot was written the night before the finale – stealing the content from the WorldBook Encyclopedia entry for “Meaningless Action and Drama Sequences”. Even worse was the way they just threw stuff in there. Supposedly, Vaughn was dead. I guess it was a hoax. He is alive now. Throughout the finale – it was obvious that they didn’t have time to fully explain to everyone what had happened with his apparent death. So there were at least three times when people would see Vaughn and say, “Hey Vaughn. I thought you were dead?” as if they were saying “Hey Vaughn, missed you at church today.” I don’t know about you, but if I saw someone I thought was dead standing in front of me – breathing – I would at least be a little surprised. I guess all of the characters have been watching their own show long enough to where nothing surprises them anymore.
Rating: 0 Gullys
Opinions: Comfort Inn & Suites
I have found myself staying at a number of Comfort Suites lately. They are typically great hotels. Now, if you like those expensive hotels where everything is fancy and expensive – these hotels are probably not for you. But if you look at hotels like I do food – where quantity is of equal importance to quality – then this is the place for you. By quantity, I mean room size and amenities. They always have big rooms, nice showers, internet, and all of the fixins. Some of them are older than others, but I can put up with an old room that smells a bit like mold as long as the air conditioner is running the whole time. In addition to this, they have a rewards program that is up there with Southwest’s frequent flyer program. I can’t tell you how many times I have stayed in Marriott hotels, or how many Marriott rewards points I have, but I can tell you that you get a free night at a Choice Hotel (Comfort Inn, Sleep Inn, etc.) when you stay at one of those hotels twice in a set period of time. It is a promotion that they always seem to be running. When you stay there, be sure to tell them that Andy Gullahorn should be their national spokesperson.
Rating: 3 ½ Gullys
Opinions: The Bachelor
Jill and I have been reality TV junkies. Now that we have two kids running around all the time, there isn’t as much time for that stuff as there used to be. Out of bad habits, we watched some of this year’s Bachelor. I only saw about half of the episodes and wasn’t going to write anything about it on here, but I really need to give props to the guy who was the bachelor. Having watched a few of the previous seasons, this guy seemed pretty cool. He wasn’t making out with every girl and actually seemed to have respect for other people. He picked a nice girl. They are both from Nashville. Jill told me they were spotted at our YMCA. So I guess I am writing this so that when they see it they will shoot me an e-mail and we can all hang out.
Rating: 3 Gullys
Opinions: Grizzly Man
I watched this movie one weekend I was in New Jersey with my friend, Scott, and my cousin, Will. The first scene of the movie has this guy videotaping himself with a few grizzly bears behind him in a field. I thought he was possibly the toughest, coolest guy in the world. After approximately 3 minutes, I realized that he might be the weirdest guy in the world. The idea of making friends with these bears is a little funny. Listening to this guy rant on camera is a lot funny. I guess it got a little old to the bears. Thus the tragic ending. You should totallyd see this documentary.
Rating: 3 Gullys
Opinions: Puma Mostro
When I was in England back a couple of years ago, I tried on these shoes. Not only did they look like the cool shoes that all of the Europeans were wearing, they were the most comfortable things I had ever put on. I looked at the price. 79. Now that is four times the amount I normally spend on shoes – if it was in dollars. Unfortunately it was 79 pounds. That means about $140. Holy smokes that is expensive. So I waited for them to come to the States. I even tried to find some used ones on the UK Ebay. I guess those Europeans have small feet. Couldn’t find my size. Finally they made it here to the US and were listed for a mere $115. No way I am spending that much. Anyways, fast forward a year or so and they are still too expensive for me. However, Jill got them for me for Christmas. I now know they are worth every penny. Extra bonus – no shoe laces.
Rating: 5 Gullys
Opinions: My Father's Pizza
This is one of my favorite places in the world to eat. I just ate there again the other day and I was reminded of how awesome it is. Not only is it in a really cool place, the food is yummy. The other day I got a calzone. It was good – but my favorite thing there is the Italian sub. Holy moly. It has a bunch of artery clogging meat. It has fresh tomatoes - which is weird because I usually hate tomatoes – but these are good. It has this dressing stuff to pour on your sandwich. It is toasted. Jill likes the healthier Roasted Chicken sandwich or something like that and says it is amazing. I will take her word for it because I am sticking with the Italian. Just go there and see for yourself.
Rating: 4 Gullys
Opinions: Alamo Car Rental
I recently rented a minivan from the Nashville airport for a road show. I got it off Priceline (which I usually do) for a great price – and the company that accepted my offer was Alamo. I have always liked Alamo because they are cheaper than most other folks most of the time and because they have strong ties with Southwest Airlines – which I like as well. But this review is for this most recent experience. When I went up to the counter there was a young guy working there. I gave him my I.D. and credit card. He asked me if I wanted any of the insurance or gas options. I said no. He said, “Ok. Sign here, here and here.” Then he gave me my keys. The entire transaction took literally less than 90 seconds. I was so astonished that I thanked him for being so fast and not giving me the hard sell on the up-charge junk. I didn’t even think about doing a review for it until I today when I was at the Ft. Lauderdale airport with AP trying to rent our PT Cruiser from Budget. It took freaking forever. Listen, we know about the returning with gas thing. No I don’t want to pay you for a full tank. Why would I want your insurance when the credit card company covers it? Just give us the keys and let us get on our merry way. The guy at Alamo understood this. For that he gets …
RATING: 3 Gullys
Opinions: Two For The Money
This is the first movie I have seen in the theater in a long time. I went with Billy and Todd – a couple of friends I have known for a long time and fellow Men’s Club members. We did not go see it because of Matthew McConaughey. We definitely didn’t see it because of Rene Russo. We did not go because we heard it was a good movie. In fact, we heard it was an awful movie. We went because it was about the world of sports betting. Of course we would never be interested in such things but we are always trying to expand our knowledge base. Don’t go see this movie. Those reviews were right. Well, unless you like to watch scenes of a sweaty McConaughey working out and flexing his muscles. In that case you still probably shouldn’t see it. Nobody needs to see that.
RATING: 1 Gully
Opinions: The Cottage Inn
After a show at Concordia University, we went out late looking for a place to eat. We stumbled upon The Cottage Inn pizza place. It had a cool look to it. We all ordered specialty pizzas. They were yummy. I got the BBQ Chicken Pizza. Ben Shive got Pizza Florentine whatever that was. Jill got a vegetarian pizza (What’s the point?). Andrew Peterson got this grilled chicken pesto pizza. This was actually the one I was going to get but it came with artichoke hearts and mushrooms. I don’t like either of those. Andrew was smart and replaced the artichoke hearts with bacon. I tried it. My pizza was great. His was better.
RATING: 4 Gullys
Opinions: Eulogy
I can’t fully recommend this movie because there is some rough stuff in it – mainly language and thematic stuff. I just thought it was pretty funny. The cast is Ray Romano, Hank Azaria, Kelly Preston, Famke Jannsen, Debra Winger, Rip Torn and some other recognizable characters. It is the perfect movie to get from the library. No expectations. No money down. It is good for a few laughs.
RATING: 3 Gullys
Opinions: Honey Maid Soft Baked Snack Bars
On a morning flight from Detroit to Nashville, Southwest gave me this banana flavored snack bar. First let me say that I am not a fan of bananas unless it is banana pudding. But as far as airline snacks go, this was pretty good. Much better than Delta’s snacks.
RATING: 3 Gullys
Opinions: The Ambassador Hotel
The fine folks at Trinity Fellowship Church got us rooms here. We were on the top floor. Our room had about 20 yellow jacket wasp thingies in it but a nice man named Luis came to kill them all. The wasps didn’t bother us, however, because we could just walk down the hall to some free snacks and drinks every night and breakfast every morning. The first night we were playing a show and couldn’t take advantage of the food but the concierge lady said that she would take some Dr. Pepper and leave it in our room so that it would be nice and cold and ready when we got back. Who can complain about that? Also, they had free wireless internet. Take note all you hotels that charge nine bucks a day to use the internet, you will have Gullys subtracted immediately.
RATING: 4 Gullys
Opinions: Oprah
If I wanted to hear someone talk about how great they were and then watch hundreds of women scream in agreement I could just go see a John Mayer concert. Just because someone has lots of money and does some nice things with it doesn’t mean they are God. I would feel sorry for her because she didn’t get to go shop in some expensive store after it closed but do you know how many times I tried to order fast food breakfast at 10:31 and they wouldn’t let me?
RATING: 1 Gully
Opinions: Delta Airlines
As far as airlines go, Delta was never really on my poop list. I always have trouble with Northwest. I usually don’t like my experiences on USAir. I had always considered Delta to be a reasonable airline. Well, on a recent Delta flight I changed my mind.
The actual flight was not bad. The problem I have with them is their change in guitar policies. The airlines are constantly changing their policies. Actually, their policies might not change, but there are just some disgruntled workers that try to make life hard on people and have prejudices against people carrying guitars. These workers obviously have no clue what they are talking about. Here is a conversational progression of my frustration.
AIRLINE: “Sir, you can’t carry on a guitar in a hard case. Next time bring it in a soft case.” ME: “Ok.” NEXT TRIP: “Sir, we are going to have to check your guitar.” ME: “I can’t let you check it in a soft case. It will be destroyed.” THEM: “Well, next time bring it in a hard case.” ME: “But last time you guys said to bring it in a soft case so I could carry it on.” THEM: “Well, I don’t know who told you that, but they were wrong.” NEXT TRIP: “Sir, you can’t take that hard case on board the plane. Only soft cases allowed.” ME: “Last time they told me to bring it in a hard case!” THEM: “Well, I don’t know who told you that but they were wrong. Next time maybe you should bring it in a soft case but carry a hard case as well in case it needs to be checked.” ME: “Yeah right.” NEXT TRIP: “Sir, Delta no longer allows people to carry guitars on the plane.” ME: “But the law says that you can carry instruments on the plane.” THEM: “The law says that it is up to the airline to decide and we decide that you can’t carry it on. We could get fined $10,000 if you carry on that guitar.” ME: “Put it on my tab.” THEM: “No, really sir, I can not let you carry that guitar on.” ME: “When are you going to make up your minds? I wish I was flying Southwest Airlines right now. They are much cheaper and nicer and they like guitars. Southwest is the bomb.” THEM: “Sir, did you say bomb? Security! Security! Arrest this guitar player. There is a bomb in the case.”
Well, you get my point.
RATING: 1 Gully
Opinions: Arrested Development
Other than The Office (British Version), this is by far the funniest TV show I have seen in a long time. It is another sitcom without a laugh track – which is a very good thing. The show is basically about a dysfunctional family. It is the one show in the history of television that made my parents laugh as much as I did. The only bad thing about it is that it is on FOX so they keep moving it around and it is hard to catch on TV (unless you have TIVO). The ratings have been pretty low as well so it is probably doomed to be cancelled soon – just like one of my all time favorite shows, Freaks and Geeks. The 1st and 2nd seasons are on DVD already. You should check them out.
RATING: 4 Gullys
Opinions: The Forgotten
I remember seeing the trailer for this movie. It looked interesting. This lady’s kid was missing. People didn’t believe her. She peeled back some wallpaper or something. Has potential, right? Wrong. Jill and I kept watching this movie thinking there had to be some awesome twist or something. Wrong. We did jump out of our seats a couple of times when we were startled. It gets at least one Gully for that. I just thought the story line, the script and even the acting were as boring as the time on the airplane between when you land and you get to the gate. It was good for a few mocking laughs, though.
RATING: 1 Gully
Opinions: Circuit City Repair Dept.
So we were having problems with our video camera. It seemed to be recording fine, but when you put old DV tapes in it there was a line of digital distortion in the picture. So I figured it just needed to be calibrated or aligned or something. I was short on time so I just took it to Circuit City to have them repair it – that is where I bought it (and of course didn’t get the protection plan because I am cheap). So they sent it in and a couple of weeks later I got a call asking me to authorize the repair that included replacing the “mechanism” coming to a grand total of $367. I paid $240 for the camera. Hmm. Anyways, they said that they couldn’t open the tape mechanism. That wasn’t the problem when I sent it in. I hate it when I feel like someone could be taking advantage of me just because I don’t know how to repair it myself or what a video camera “mechanism” is. No way I am paying that money.
Rating: 0 Gullys
Opinions: The Public Library
I could have cared less about the library before I had kids. Now I am pretty familiar with it. We have story time at the library that we go to occasionally. This is the time that I sit with my kids and we sing songs like “It’s a Great Day to Make Some New Friends”, “Anna Banna Bo Banna Banana Fanna …” and the rainbow song. This process is definitely a means to an end – the end being keeping the kids occupied until it is time to take them home for a nap.
I always heard that you could rent DVDs from the library so after the story time I would go down and see what movies they had available. The selection was not that good. They always had movies like “Howard’s End” and “Yentl”. If I thought singing the rainbow song was borderline humiliating, renting a Barbara Streisand movie would just put me over the edge. Not long ago, however, my friend Todd told me about making a cue of movies online. You can log in to the library site, search for movies and put them on hold. When they come available, they ship them to your local library and send you an e-mail to let you know that you need to come pick them up. You can keep them for a week. Did I mention that it is free? Holy moly. Who needs Netflix or Blockbuster? (If Mr. Netflix or Blockbuster are reading, I might possibly change my opinion if you gave me a free membership.)
It wasn’t long before I filled up my cue with 50 movies. Some of them, like “The Alamo” (which my older brother is in for .5 seconds), were available immediately. Some of them, like “Hitch”, had 140 holds on it and I was the 141st. If you don’t care when you actually see the movie, it is great. Every week I get an e-mail saying “We have a jillion books on hold for you. Come pick them up.” It might actually say something different but I don’t take the time to read it. I hop in my car and rush over to pick them up. It is becoming quite popular now so they lowered the maximum number of movies in your cue to 25. It is still totally worth it. Oh – and it is good to support your local library.
RATING: 5 Gullys
Opinions: The Stepford Wives
Jill and I started renting DVDs from the library (see review of the library). The fact that we did not pay anything for this rental is the one good thing about the movie. Wait, I did have to drive 1.5 miles to the library. I am not sure it was worth that. I didn’t have real high expectations for it. It has Nicole Kidman and Matthew Broderick in it so I thought it would at least be decent. I did not realize, however, that Bette Midler was in it. That would have been a major red flag (sorry every woman in the world – but it is true that guys aren’t big Bette Midler fans). She, surprisingly, wasn’t the bad part. Actually there wasn’t a bad part. It was just all bad. The script was awful. Even Chris Walken (I can call him Chris because I am a reviewer now) couldn’t save it. I have seen some bad movies that had no good actors and no budget involved. You expect those to be bad. This one had resources and was still awful. I can easily say it is one of the biggest waste of time movies I have ever seen. (Nicole, if you are reading this, I love your other work. Please be my friend.)
RATING: -2 Gullys
Opinions: Kamp Kill
This is an indie film out of Jonesboro, AR. It is about a youth group that goes to church camp only to be haunted by a serial killer. I know what you are thinking. Preposterous. Legendary filmmaker, Craig Miller, is able to capture the chaos of the situation with beautiful cinematography and an excellent score. I have to say that the actor playing “Stinky”, who is able to drive the killer away with his flatulence, does a fine acting job. He is slightly overshadowed, though, by Mr. Miller himself as “Brother Tony” in his dying scene. If you like horrible horror films, you will love this one.
RATING: 4 Gullys