2005 Haiku Reviews
Dec-27,2005 Filed in: HAIKU
REVIEWS
12-31-05 Clermont,
FL
Racist guy in Target
If you were not an old man in a little mechanical shopping cart
Ben might have punched you
12-18-05 Trussville, AL
Poor green room RV
You offered your lovely space
But nobody came
12-16-05 Milford, OH
Popcorn or puke
An odor confuses me
In the nursery hall
And
Who fixed that dinner?
If I win the lottery
Live in my kitchen
12-15-05 Johnson City, TN
Burning jealousy
Why else would Andrew and Gabe
Burn our Sudoku
And
Red and White bags
So surprised you are full of
Chicken Salad
And
Large dry erase board
You solved what we once thought was
Unsolvable
12-14-05 Ocala, FL
Frostbitten fingers
Hay plus December plus outside plus alpacas plus nativity scenes plus humidity equals
A memorable show
12-11-05 Nashville, TN
Cry for hours
The only way to respond
When Pierce teases
(Just kidding Pierce if you are reading this)
then
A rock star bassist
From now on that’s how I will
Set my guitar strap
12-10-05 Bowling Green, KY
Sorry Andrew P.
While busy with Sudoku
We missed our intro
12-09-05 West Mifflin, PA
Oh Corner Pocket
Your rough edges plus Knockout
Equaled a hurt thigh
12-08-05 Colorado Springs, CO
Seven folks tonight
Said altitude was the cause
For their flatulence
12-05-05 Chattanooga, TN
The three wheeled bike
Sandra kept interrupting
Our shuffleboard games
12-04-05 Midland, MI
Blue iced cookies
The red dot is for Midland
Michigan’s heart
And for the kind folks who drove down the huge bag full of pies from Troy… …
Four Berry Pie
Forget the ziplock pockets
Now - tupperware
12-03-05 Cedar Rapids, IA
Snow covered roads
We would have walked through that snow
To meet with the queen
12-02-05 Elkhorn, NE
The great dodgeball game
With Marcus here on my team
We’re undefeated
12-01-05 Michigan City, IN
Behind the stage props
Christian graffiti tells us
That Aslan Rules
11-19-05 Cottonwood, AZ
A bowl of bacon
Kay really knows how to get
Straight to a man’s heart
11-12-05 Lakeland, FL
One-thirty A.M
Finally I beat Andrew
At a ping pong game
10-28-05 Ann Arbor, MI
Ben broke his glasses
It was a small price to pay
To enter chaos
10-16-05 Amarillo, TX
I was scared to death
I did not want to be tazed
By the sentinels
10-14-05 Amarillo, TX
Women’s conferences
The best party you can crash
For good desserts
9-25-05 Murfreesboro, TN
Free Donuts
Half of the jelly one in Adie’s mouth
The rest on her shirt
9-12-05 Charlotte, NC
Neighborhood concerts
Balloon artists and popcorn stands
Are hard to compete with
9-1-05 Charleston, SC
When I die
Cover me with that dry rub
You put on that pork
8-27-05 Muskegon, MI
How appropriate
Not sure how to take being booked
On “no frills” weekend
8-24-05 Jonesboro, AR
It was an honor
To play a house concert for
The cast of Kamp Kill
8-20-05 Trussville, AL
Drunk David Lee Roth
That is what Travis looked like
During his rock show
8-13-05 Reno, NV
I am rebellious
I promise I didn’t know
No sandals on stage
8-07-05 Green Bay, WI
I can’t help myself
I like forcing the audience
To watch my kids
7-17-05 Rapid City, SD
There at Mount Rushmore
A Bird was making its home
In Roosevelt’s nose
7-05-05 SEYC – AL
The Middle Finger
I need to be more careful
Talking with my hands
6-30-05 Warner Robins, GA
Christian Festival
When you mix in Chik-Fil-A Mascot
You get a holy cow
6-18-05 West Mifflin, PA
Just like Y2K
I was ready and prepared
But nothing happened
6-11-05 Troy, MI
Four Berry Pie
I wish my pockets were made by ziplock
For I would take you with me everywhere
6-10-05 Monroe, MI
Kleenex and oil
These are just some of the things on stage
At a full gospel church
6-9-05 Terre Haute, IN
Stories about Ray Boltz
There is no better way to prepare
For rocking the house
5-28-05 Collegedale, TN
The frightened sound man yells,
“Please don’t let that kid play with that microphone”
As it falls 5 feet to the ground
Sorry*
*extra line added for apology reasons only. I know it is not proper Haiku form**
** I am not claiming that any of these other “poems” are proper Haiku form***
*** Get off my back
5-14-05 Sdr. Felding, Denmark
Peace and Thank You
I only know two Danish words
Tak and Fred
4-29-05 Nashvile, TN (Sounds Game)
The rain threatens
So many free hot dogs
So little time
4-27-05 Nashville, TN (Belmont U)
It’s great to be back
Apparently both of the people at the show
Feel the same way
4-23-05 Santa Fe, NM
A Traveler’s Paradise
Of course this was the first show in 7 years I could not accompany Jill on
Can you tell I am bitter
4-17-05 – Santa Fe, TX
The 80s Rock Band
Me with electric guitar
And Ben Shive on drums
4-9-05 – Barrington Hills, IL
Some money well spent
It was worth all of those big tithes
For those cool windows
4-2-05 – Point Lookout, MO
Branson, Missouri
You’re the home of Hard Work U
And Yakov Smirnoff
3-2-05 – Memphis, TN
Mysterious Rash
All over Drew’s face and arms
From the Hotel sheets
2-28-05 – Memphis, TN
Rendezvous Ribs
The parking garage is full
Of your aroma
2-23-05 – Augusta, KS
Upon the wall
There are pictures of a 110 pound little kid
Named Andy Peterson
2-18-05 – Winterville, NC
Krispy Kreme
The one thing I can always count on
At womens conferences
2-16-05 – Jackson, TN
First time at Union
I try to impress everyone with
Instruments I did not play
2-13-05 – Houston, TX
Just because I said
Along Came Polly was awesome
It does not mean I liked it
1-27-05 – Asheville, NC
Faith like a child
It will not get you past the gate
At the Cove
1-16-05 – Valparaiso, IN
After the show
Smell of Fazzoli’s Breadstick
Make stomach grumble
Racist guy in Target
If you were not an old man in a little mechanical shopping cart
Ben might have punched you
12-18-05 Trussville, AL
Poor green room RV
You offered your lovely space
But nobody came
12-16-05 Milford, OH
Popcorn or puke
An odor confuses me
In the nursery hall
And
Who fixed that dinner?
If I win the lottery
Live in my kitchen
12-15-05 Johnson City, TN
Burning jealousy
Why else would Andrew and Gabe
Burn our Sudoku
And
Red and White bags
So surprised you are full of
Chicken Salad
And
Large dry erase board
You solved what we once thought was
Unsolvable
12-14-05 Ocala, FL
Frostbitten fingers
Hay plus December plus outside plus alpacas plus nativity scenes plus humidity equals
A memorable show
12-11-05 Nashville, TN
Cry for hours
The only way to respond
When Pierce teases
(Just kidding Pierce if you are reading this)
then
A rock star bassist
From now on that’s how I will
Set my guitar strap
12-10-05 Bowling Green, KY
Sorry Andrew P.
While busy with Sudoku
We missed our intro
12-09-05 West Mifflin, PA
Oh Corner Pocket
Your rough edges plus Knockout
Equaled a hurt thigh
12-08-05 Colorado Springs, CO
Seven folks tonight
Said altitude was the cause
For their flatulence
12-05-05 Chattanooga, TN
The three wheeled bike
Sandra kept interrupting
Our shuffleboard games
12-04-05 Midland, MI
Blue iced cookies
The red dot is for Midland
Michigan’s heart
And for the kind folks who drove down the huge bag full of pies from Troy… …
Four Berry Pie
Forget the ziplock pockets
Now - tupperware
12-03-05 Cedar Rapids, IA
Snow covered roads
We would have walked through that snow
To meet with the queen
12-02-05 Elkhorn, NE
The great dodgeball game
With Marcus here on my team
We’re undefeated
12-01-05 Michigan City, IN
Behind the stage props
Christian graffiti tells us
That Aslan Rules
11-19-05 Cottonwood, AZ
A bowl of bacon
Kay really knows how to get
Straight to a man’s heart
11-12-05 Lakeland, FL
One-thirty A.M
Finally I beat Andrew
At a ping pong game
10-28-05 Ann Arbor, MI
Ben broke his glasses
It was a small price to pay
To enter chaos
10-16-05 Amarillo, TX
I was scared to death
I did not want to be tazed
By the sentinels
10-14-05 Amarillo, TX
Women’s conferences
The best party you can crash
For good desserts
9-25-05 Murfreesboro, TN
Free Donuts
Half of the jelly one in Adie’s mouth
The rest on her shirt
9-12-05 Charlotte, NC
Neighborhood concerts
Balloon artists and popcorn stands
Are hard to compete with
9-1-05 Charleston, SC
When I die
Cover me with that dry rub
You put on that pork
8-27-05 Muskegon, MI
How appropriate
Not sure how to take being booked
On “no frills” weekend
8-24-05 Jonesboro, AR
It was an honor
To play a house concert for
The cast of Kamp Kill
8-20-05 Trussville, AL
Drunk David Lee Roth
That is what Travis looked like
During his rock show
8-13-05 Reno, NV
I am rebellious
I promise I didn’t know
No sandals on stage
8-07-05 Green Bay, WI
I can’t help myself
I like forcing the audience
To watch my kids
7-17-05 Rapid City, SD
There at Mount Rushmore
A Bird was making its home
In Roosevelt’s nose
7-05-05 SEYC – AL
The Middle Finger
I need to be more careful
Talking with my hands
6-30-05 Warner Robins, GA
Christian Festival
When you mix in Chik-Fil-A Mascot
You get a holy cow
6-18-05 West Mifflin, PA
Just like Y2K
I was ready and prepared
But nothing happened
6-11-05 Troy, MI
Four Berry Pie
I wish my pockets were made by ziplock
For I would take you with me everywhere
6-10-05 Monroe, MI
Kleenex and oil
These are just some of the things on stage
At a full gospel church
6-9-05 Terre Haute, IN
Stories about Ray Boltz
There is no better way to prepare
For rocking the house
5-28-05 Collegedale, TN
The frightened sound man yells,
“Please don’t let that kid play with that microphone”
As it falls 5 feet to the ground
Sorry*
*extra line added for apology reasons only. I know it is not proper Haiku form**
** I am not claiming that any of these other “poems” are proper Haiku form***
*** Get off my back
5-14-05 Sdr. Felding, Denmark
Peace and Thank You
I only know two Danish words
Tak and Fred
4-29-05 Nashvile, TN (Sounds Game)
The rain threatens
So many free hot dogs
So little time
4-27-05 Nashville, TN (Belmont U)
It’s great to be back
Apparently both of the people at the show
Feel the same way
4-23-05 Santa Fe, NM
A Traveler’s Paradise
Of course this was the first show in 7 years I could not accompany Jill on
Can you tell I am bitter
4-17-05 – Santa Fe, TX
The 80s Rock Band
Me with electric guitar
And Ben Shive on drums
4-9-05 – Barrington Hills, IL
Some money well spent
It was worth all of those big tithes
For those cool windows
4-2-05 – Point Lookout, MO
Branson, Missouri
You’re the home of Hard Work U
And Yakov Smirnoff
3-2-05 – Memphis, TN
Mysterious Rash
All over Drew’s face and arms
From the Hotel sheets
2-28-05 – Memphis, TN
Rendezvous Ribs
The parking garage is full
Of your aroma
2-23-05 – Augusta, KS
Upon the wall
There are pictures of a 110 pound little kid
Named Andy Peterson
2-18-05 – Winterville, NC
Krispy Kreme
The one thing I can always count on
At womens conferences
2-16-05 – Jackson, TN
First time at Union
I try to impress everyone with
Instruments I did not play
2-13-05 – Houston, TX
Just because I said
Along Came Polly was awesome
It does not mean I liked it
1-27-05 – Asheville, NC
Faith like a child
It will not get you past the gate
At the Cove
1-16-05 – Valparaiso, IN
After the show
Smell of Fazzoli’s Breadstick
Make stomach grumble