Welcome to a new segment I call "Predicting the Future". In addition to my crazy web skillz I believe I have quite the knack for predicting the future in a few cases. For example, I predicted that Pamela Anderson would probably get a divorce from that last guy she married. I also predicted years ago that Britney Spears was going to be unhappy with some of her life choices. I know - both of those were really going out on a limb - but those are the kind of risks I am willing to take. Today I will look into the future life of Katherine Heigl.

Katherine is an actress who is probably most famous for her role on Grey's Anatomy. She has also been in a few movies like Knocked Up and 27 Dresses. She won an Emmy last year for her role on Grey's. I don't have many opinions about her as an actress - that is not what this post is about. I am just here to objectively tell her future. What I DO know is that in addition to bad-mouthing some of the movies she was in, she recently asked for her name to be removed from consideration for the Emmy's this year. This was her reasoning ...

"I did not feel that I was given the material this season to warrant an Emmy nomination and in an effort to maintain the integrity of the academy organization, I withdrew my name from contention. In addition, I did not want to potentially take away an opportunity from an actress who was given such materials."

There are all sorts of strange things you can learn about Ms. Heigl from this quote. First, she is obviously very humble - if humility means that you automatically assume you are going to be nominated and win an award. It also shows that she is very respectful - if respect means bad-mouthing your co-workers. But most importantly it shows that she is severely out of touch with reality.
Supposedly this stunt was an attempt to find her way out of a contract with the TV show. Perhaps they will get so fed up with her saying mean things about the very show that made her famous that they just won't want her around anymore - and then she can go focus on her movie career. The unfortunate side to that for her is that in the long term people don't want to work with people who talk bad about them. People are already seeing her as a whiny, ungrateful, spoiled brat. Can't she see that? Doesn't she know that the more stuff she says like this - the less people will want to support her career? Surely she has someone close to her that can communicate this obvious truth. I mean, that's what managers are for.
After very little research, I found that her manager's name is Nancy. Nancy Helgl. Oh - I see. Her mother is her manager. I believe that is called a momager. No wonder she is so humble and respectful. Her mother is probably always at her side telling her that she is the greatest actress alive and that she deserves more than what she has. If people aren't connecting with her character - it isn't because her movie career makes it harder for the writers to write big time-intensive parts for her - but it is because the writers aren't writing good stuff. I am sure the picture her momager paints is pretty far from reality.
So that brings us back to the Emmy comment. It seems to me that Katherine was going to be embarrassed and disappointed by not winning the Emmy again - so she essentially took her name out of the race so that she wouldn't have to hear the Emmy voters take it out for her. That way she can still believe that she is the greatest actress of all time - who happens to be gracious enough to allow someone else to win this year. How thoughtful. In addition to that - she is able to blame the writers of the show for not doing their job as professionally as she obviously does hers. Ouch. So assuming that Katherine keeps this behavior up, this is my prediction for her future.
Grey's will not let her out of her contract. She will continue to whine. She will continue to do movies on the side. She will continue to annoy the general public. One day she will eventually leave Grey's excited to move on to her movie career. She will learn soon after "headlining" her first big movie that people aren't that interested in seeing her. She will enter her downward spiral of depression as the picture her momager paints gets further and further from reality. She will "choose" to take some "time off" to have kids or travel or something and will emerge years later acting in the mother role of Sean Preston Spears-Federline's Disney Channel movie called Dream High about love and dancing in high school. She will show up to the 20 year Grey's Anatomy reunion show wearing more make-up than any of the other actors. She will occasionally appear as a talking head on VH1's Best Week Ever commenting on useless entertainment news.
Those things will all come true unless you, Katherine, do something about it. You control your own destiny. You can choose to be nice to people and not think too highly of yourself (See: Steve Carell). You can choose to apologize to those people you work with and do your best at your job. You can choose to surround yourself with people who will keep you grounded. You can choose to hire me as a life coach and pay me $20K/month. Otherwise, see you on VH1.

At intermission
The three of us fought about
In ear monitors

Andrew got stuck on
"Dragons in the magic wood"
Very ironic

After the concert
Drove to Omaha to eat
Ted & Wally's awesome homemade ice cream

My kind of evening
First, house concert at the Sub
Then won poker game

Sound check went just fine
But when the time comes to play
Who needs sound systems?

Hula hoops and fire
Needless to say my son stared
At full attention

and

In between the shows
Slam poet competition
My new favorite thing

It has been a while since the Captains Courageous took a road trip together. We were bored.

Ben is my friend.
He has a record coming out soon.
I have heard some of it and I really love it.
You should go to the RabbitRoom and pre-order it.
Here is a commercial from my Square Peg Alliance family.

I am short of breath
Never should have played soccer
With those third graders

(I am out of shape from testing all those fries)

I am short of breath
Never should have played dunkball
Against Ronzilla

Someone sent me a link to a new review on BestAlbumOfTheDay.com.
I am quite honored that it was the best album of the day on Thursday the 8th of May.
However, I am depressed that my reign as best album has passed. My career is over.

It has been quite a while since I have reviewed anything or posted any sort of blog so I thought I would return with a very important topic – French Fries.

Since my job as a national music superstar involves quite a bit of travel and thus quite a bit of dining at fast food establishments, I consider myself an expert in the field. I must make the disclaimer, however (in case my wife is reading), that I have severely cut down on my fast food intake.

Anyways, I thought it would be beneficial to the general public for me to rank one of the staples of fast food side items – the french fry. Occasionally there are some other side items available – the best of which would be the cheese curds at the A&W restaurants – but for now I am only ranking the french fries at major fast food restaurant chains.

10. Krystal
Upside: They fill the emptiness in your stomach
Downside: They don’t taste very good
I lived in Nashville for ten years before I even dared to eat at this place. I had some of their little Krystal-Chik sandwiches and was pleasantly surprised so I have been back on occasion. Like any other American, I have been programmed to need fries and a drink with every food purchase so I am forced to get their fries whenever I eat there. These fries are as close to a neutral taste as you get. They don’t have much salt (if any) and are often limp and soggy. If you don’t have ketchup or anything you might as well just soak the paper cover you took off of your straw and eat it.

9. Wendy’s
Upside: Frosty dipping
Downside: Can sometimes actually taste bad
At their best, Wendy’s fries can be good enough to make you want to eat all of the ones you paid for. At their worst they can have an aftertaste that will make you long for a Krystal fry. The only reason these fries are ranked higher than Krystal is because they sometimes have salt on them and there is always the possibility that you could be dipping them into a frosty. I recently had some of their fries with the aftertaste problem. They tasted OK at first and then the salty taste gave way to some metallic taste like I was handling old pennies all day and then licked my fingers. Not recommended.

8. Sonic
Upside: Tater Tot substitution
Downside: Fries are generic
Sonic’s strongpoint is not their fry. I go for the Cherry Limeade. Their fries are very middle-of-the-road similar to ones you might get at a baseball game or something – but they get extra points for offering the tater tot alternative. I usually take advantage of this substitution option. Tater tots are always the superior choice not only because they taste better, but they actually trick you into thinking that you are eating potatoes rather than fries.

7. Burger King
Upside: Unique taste
Downside: Unique taste
These fries have a unique taste that is not necessarily better than the other joints, but they stand out because they have a little bit more of a crunchy element to them and they are usually fairly salty.

6. Steak-n-Shake
Upside: Skinny and salty
Downside: Somehow harder to eat
I have a love-hate relationship with this kind of fry. They are really skinny and taste pretty good but they aren’t as fun to eat as bigger fries are. I always feel like I need to use a fork or something.

5. KFC
Upside: Crusty Seasoned taste
Downside: Pam Anderson will be mad at you
Most people haven’t tried these “potato wedges” before but they are missing out. They are caked in some of that “seasoned fry” batter and actually taste pretty good. Also, being “wedges” instead of “fries” once again makes you feel better because you feel like you are eating more actual potato. It is not really any better for you, but perception is everything.

4. McDonalds
Upside: Salt
Downside: Obesity and eventual death
This is the highest ranking “standard fry” in my book. The secret? Salt and more salt. The fact that I like McDonalds’ fries so much makes me wonder if it would be a good idea to buy one of those salt blocks they make for cows and just keep it on my kitchen counter so that I can lick it whenever I pass by. They are a guilty pleasure for sure. I gave them up for a while along with all other McDonalds food after I watched Super Size Me. Unfortunately my ban was quite short-lived. The first time I was in a car with someone who ordered those fries – I knew I just had to have them again. I think they are made with some type of addictive drug.

3. Arby’s
Upside: Seasoning taste
Downside: Less food mass per order
I am talking about the seasoned curly fries here because as far as I am concerned there is no other option at this place. These fries taste great. The only downside is that I am convinced that they can’t fit very many of those spiral fries in the little fry cups – so you are getting less fry for the money.

2. Chik-Fil-A
Upside: Healthy illusion
Downside: No fries on Sunday
Somehow when you take salty fries and serve them in a waffle shape, they feel healthier. I don’t know that I would like these fries as much as McDonalds if they were just normal fry-shape but the fact that you might be able to see the skin of the potato on the fry makes you feel that you are eating much healthier. To make them even better, I dip them in the Polynesian sauce I get for my awesome nuggets. It is quite a combo.

1. Checkers/Rally’s
Upside: Mostest Awesomest Taste
Downside: I can’t stop eating them
Some people have never experienced these fries, but for a fan of the seasoned fry, Checkers is the greatest place in the world. Maybe by ranking them number one I will get an official endorsement with them to receive free fries for the rest of my life. If you see me sometime soon and I look swollen, you will know why.

*There are other places that have wonderful fries like In-N-Out, Ruby Tuesday’s, Five Guys and Red Robin – but they do not qualify for this test.

Surprise! I have a new website.
I have worked really hard on it for the past few days.
I hope you enjoy it.
If something is missing from here that you wish was on here - let me know.
You can leave comments now. Go ahead. Try it. I dare you.

I have a couple of shows in Georgia this weekend. They are both within an hour of Atlanta.
Check out the SHOWS section for details.
Hope to see you there.

Here is a commercial I made for my newest CD, Reinventing The Wheel.

Newlywed couple
I am sorry that your prize
Was just our CD

I still don't get it
Why people don't laugh at my
"They Danced Alone" song

I found this old gem the other day. You can say this is the precursor to The Drive with Andy as it is the first video I made in a car. When Jill and I visited England, we got stuck in traffic. While we were waiting, we made this video to a song by the Darkness with our friend Gareth.

Friday night at 5
Weather is awesome outside
I almost didn't come to the show either